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February 2012

Debunking Dating Myths, Part 1: Setting Expectations

Dating wine coupleFor anyone going on a first date, there are lots of initial questions that can pop into one’s head, ranging from “will I be attracted to them in person?” to “what kind of plans should I make tonight?” It’s Just Lunch recently surveyed singles around the world to get a sense for the “state of the first date”.

 

Heightened expectations

Do looks really matter? Most people have natural attractions toward others based on hair color, skin color, body types, and so on. Even though we’re constantly inundated with images of sexy celebs and other attractive figures, most of the time we have a general idea of the type of person we like. Some people may have a specific type, while others are a little broader in their perspective—and having a firm opinion either way is a good thing! However, we did ask both men and women a simple question that seems to come up time and time again. Does height really matter?  The results aren’t surprising. Typically, two out of three men want to date women who are shorter than they are, and they believe women want the same thing. Ladies, you overwhelmingly responded that you’d like to date guys who are taller, and believe men are on the same page. So what’s the takeaway if we all already knew this? Guys, do not fib about your height before going on a date. Adding an inch or two (no pun intended) really won’t help your cause, from a statistical standpoint.

However, when it comes to sheer attractiveness, women may not have guys figured out after all. We separately asked men and women if guys prefer looks to brains. Most women believe they do. However the guys told a different story: a majority of men would date someone who is smart over someone who just brings a pretty face to bring to the table. Ladies, use the power of wit and confidence to overwhelm your guy on a date.  Trust us, he’ll appreciate it.

 

The Money Question

When it comes to money, this question comes up on a date both directly and indirectly (and we’ll cover the direct part in a second.) According to our survey, both men and women candidly agreed that they want the other to make more money, which kind of brings us to an impasse. However, from what we can deduce, this isn’t about who brings home a larger paycheck. This is simply a matter of being on equal footing. While it’s nice to be able to pay for dinner or treat someone to an outing, it’s also nice to get some reciprocity once in a while.

On that note, our survey results revealed that seven out of ten women don’t always want the guy to pay the bill—and guys believed the same thing. Picking up the tab is certainly a nice gesture on a first or second dinner date, but it often isn’t required. The way we see it, if the guy picks up a tab at dinner; ladies, if you’re clicking along and having fun, treat him to an after dinner drink. Guys, if your date kindly insists on splitting the bill at dinner and you’re heading out for more fun, pick up her movie or drink tab later in the night.

To close out Part 1 of our survey, we asked both men and women the following question: “would women rather have champagne and lobster or burgers and a beer.” Again, the results were pretty clear on both sides, with 71% of men and an 82% of women responding that burgers and beers trump lobster and bubbly on a first or second date. Why? Simply put, the point of dating is to get to know someone. While it’s certainly important to impress, a nice yet casual dinner puts both men and women at ease and allows both personalities to emerge naturally. Head to a fancy restaurant, and you might not be as open as you think. Relaxed confidence is always sexy, so be human when you’re starting out and you might just click with your date better than you initially think.  

 


Dating Myths Debunked: Valentine’s Day

Valentines_Day_CoupleIt’s often branded as a holiday that is reserved for couples only. Men usually become flustered at having to plan something for someone they may have seen only once or twice, while women worry as to whether or not they’ll receive flowers, chocolate, or even a date invitation on Valentine’s Day.  But is any of that really true? It’s Just Lunch recently conducted a survey that helped debunk some of these Valentine’s Day myths, especially for those who are in the early stages of dating. Let’s dive in!

 

Even if you’ve only gone on a couple of dates, it’s important to give/receive a gift on Valentine’s Day?

Men and women generally agree that gift giving doesn’t have to happen until you’ve known each other for a while. But according to our survey the majority of women (about 33%) believe couples can save the elaborate gift exchange for someone they’ve been seeing more than a few months. Even though guys don’t expect to receive a gift until they are in a committed relationship, guys will give Valentine’s Day gifts even if it’s only been a couple of dates.

 

Flowers and chocolate are tried, tested, and true Valentine’s Day gifts?

Here’s a lesson for the guys:  flowers are always a nice gesture, but why not make Valentine’s Day a little bit more interesting, especially if you’ve only been going out on a few dates. While 31% of women said they would love a bouquet, almost 38% said they would prefer a gift certificate for an activity that they can share with their date. After all, if you’re getting to know each other a fun activity can help build that early connection. As far as chocolate goes, save it for Halloween; only 5% of women expressed interest.

 

Going out to a restaurant is a great way to spend Valentine’s Day?

Fine dining is one of life’s great pleasures, but let’s be honest: it’s not exactly the most unique idea. Even though 50% of guys said they like the idea of going to a restaurant on Valentine’s Day, only 38% of women agreed. Whether it’s your first date or your fiftieth, why not try something a bit more original? Perhaps an activity neither person has done before? (Remember what we said above!)

 

Both men and women have expectations for sex on Valentine’s Day?

Sex is a wonderful thing, but that doesn’t mean it has to happen on Valentine’s Day. In fact, 81% of men and 89% of women said they don’t expect to have sex just because it’s Valentine’s Day. However, taking the time to plan a great day as a couple will help create chemistry, and that often leads to those more intimate moments.

 

Planning Valentine’s Day is the guy’s responsibility?

The theme of these myths should be pretty clear by now, but we’ll round out this post with the following point: Valentine’s Day is about love and romance and most of the time it falls on the shoulders of the men to plan something special and not the women. Yet, almost 60% of women say they would like to have a hand in planning with their partner. February 14th only comes once a year; why not work together to make it a special day and create a bond that lasts well beyond February 15th?