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September 2012

Keeping Your Political Cool With A Partner Of The Opposite Party

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These are screaming times. No matter what time of day or night you turn on the TV, there is some variety of partisan bickering smothering every topic. Watch, not even the weather is going to be safe from political fallout in a couple of weeks. Luckily though, the deafening electoral process will have subsided into a manageable din that can be ignored for another four years. But, what if your partner comes from the opposite side of the political fence? The debate continues no matter who wins the presidency this year... 

We at It’s Just Lunch® wanted to know if generally folks AVOID dating someone with different political views for that very reason. Our recent dating survey showed some interesting results:

60% of men and 68% of women said that they definitely date people who have similar political opinions and beliefs.

Just over 39% of men and almost 32% of women said that they throw caution to the wind and definitely DO DATE people with DIFFERENT political ideals. 

For you brave daters in the 30%-we have some wise advice to make it through election day and beyond, from psychologytoday.com. These are the 8 types of (mis)communications that can make a political discussion push a relationship off a cliff. 

 1. Sarcasm.

2.  Blocked listening

3.  A fixed belief system

4.  Unwillingness to engage (“Let’s not talk politics”) or to allow the other side to speak.

5.  Distortion of what the other side says.

6.  Speaking for the other (“He just think that…”).  

7.  Bad-mouthing opposing perspectives.

8. Escalated emotional intensity.

If you are going to talk about your differences, Dr. Susan Heitler’s advice is;

“If you are going to engage in a political discussion, remind yourself early and often to stay cool. Keep your ears open so that you can listen for what makes sense in what others say.  Treat what others say respectfully, listening in the best possible light to their differing perspective.”* 

*To read the full article from psychologytoday, click here. 

How Do I Get A Date?

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We can get a fabulous dinner easily enough...thank you Open Table®. We can pick out the perfect car and get a great deal...thank you promotion at work. We even can get new living room furniture WITHOUT leaving the living room.

So, in this day and age of convenience and in a time in our lives when things are running just fine, why is it so hard to get a date?

The problem certainly isn’t that there AREN’T any potentials out there. We see plenty of attractive, well-dressed, successful looking individuals out there. So why don’t we get to meet them? The folks that we really want to meet that is, not the guy who still lives at home with his mom, or your friend’s trainer from the gym who is “really hot”. 

Now, more than ever it can be more difficult for successful people, particularly successful women, to find dates who measure up to their expectations. 

So how do we solve this dilemma? Well, at It’s Just Lunch®, we’ve known how important it is to match our successful clients with quality individuals for more than 20 years. The secret of our success lies in knowing that creating lasting relationships is based on a date with someone who you really want to date again. So, let us set you up on a great date. All you have to do is just show up and enjoy. Mission accomplished. 


Is Our Dating Life Already Hardwired Into Us?

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We attempt to program our lives all the time-we DVR our favorite shows so we can watch them whenever and where-ever we want. We bookmark our favorite websites so we can visit them more conveniently. We even have  the numbers of our friends and family programmed in our cell phones, so we can reach them with just a touch of a button and never have to remember the actual number. But, have we been doing this with our dating life as well?

A while back we at It’s Just Lunch® conducted several important surveys on dating, that covered major topics impacting men and women’s decision to date certain people, such as career, education, and money. The results produced quite a stir and brought up thought-provoking ideas from the psychological, sociological, and professional communities about how we “choose” our partners and how specifically men and women differ in this area.

In a recent Wall Street Journal Article discussing our survey, Psychiatrist Scott Carroll said that the emerging field of evolutionary psychology views "dating upward" as being in-bred in females. "Current scientific thinking is that women's tendency to seek more successful males is part of a genetic survival program. The exceptions to this rule are when women will seek either a physically dominant male for physical protection or a more nurturing male if the woman is more masculine and highly successful herself."

Lawyer and blogger Chaton Turner disagreed. She said, "I think that it comes from conditioning as opposed to genetics." She added that she had always bucked the trend; dating a variety of men regardless of age, height, and wealth. 

So, what do you think? Visit us on our Facebook page to join the conversation.  

 


Partisan Dating

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Ever been engrossed in conversation with your date; fully enjoying cocktails and flirty glances, when all of a sudden the light and friendly banter busts through the Political DO NOT ENTER Sign? What happened? All of a sudden that martini isn’t quenching the dryness in your throat and you’re totally blindsided. Is THIS who I’m dating? 

Besides running for the nearest exit and screaming “You’re WRONG!”, what are your options? Does it really matter if the person your dating voted for the “other guy” last time?

Our It’s Just Lunch® Survey on the subject gave some very interesting results.

49% of all those we surveyed said that dating someone with opposite political views was fine for the short-term, but not for the long-haul. (Within that, it was split with just over 56% of men and 46% of women agreeing with this).

That left just over 50% of both men and women who said that it was just fine to have a long-term relationship with someone who had vastly different political opinions. 

Dare we call this interesting and license to date freely from the right and/or the left....or do we hear votes for a recall?