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May 2013

Is Stress Scaring Away Your Relationship Prospects?

If you’re a busy professional who has been single for longer than you’d like to admit, then stress could very well be the culprit. In an article for the Huffington Post, NYC plastic surgeon Robert Tornambe, M.D., wrote that “stress not only affects your mental well-being but also has a direct impact on beauty."


Researchers have actually found that stress makes you less attractive to the opposite sex and even accelerates the aging process bringing on the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. When you’re stressed out all the time, it shows on your face more than you realize.

In an iVillage report, there was a study done on a group of men flipping through images of women who they rated as attractive or not-so-attractive. It turned out that all the women rated as least attracted were the ones that happened to have the highest levels of cortisol, also known as the stress hormone. When researchers hypothesized that women with the highest levels of antibodies (indicating a strong immune system) would be rated as most attractive, it was of no surprise to learn that the men in the study rated women who who younger and of a healthy weight as the most attractive.

What Happens to Your Body When It’s Stressed?

Stress is what happens when your body feels threatened or when it’s sense of balance is disrupted. When your body sense danger, it kicks into overdrive putting you in “fight or flight” mode. Stressed isn’t always bad. In some cases, it can actually save your life, like slamming on the car breaks to avoid rear-ending the car in front of you. But too much stress can actually do you more harm than good.

When stress adds up and goes unmanaged, it can affect your your skin, your hair, your sleep patterns, your digestion, even your gums and teeth. The biggest impact of stress can be seen on your skin. Dr. Tornambe says that the skin renewal process happens every 28 days but slows as we age; stress can slows down that process even further which expedites the aging process. In addition, your body starts creating excess hormone which in turn causes your skin to produce more oil which cause acne breakouts.  Your body’s immune system also becomes weakened which also makes your skin more susceptible to breakouts. And why does your immune system become weak? Because stress also prevents your body from digesting the vitamins and nutrients your body needs to have a strong immune system.

Effectively Manage Stress

As cliche as this may sound, the first step to solving your stress problem is to first admit that you are dealing with stress beyond what you can manage and to identify the things in your life creating so much stress. The next step is to create a plan to minimize or eliminate certain stressors in your life so that it doesn’t ruin your chances for finding love. The last step is to schedule more time for yourself and spend the time doing things that make you happy, even if that means signing up for a dating or matchmaking service so you can start meeting other busy singles like yourself. You might learn a thing or two from some of your dates ;)

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7 Tips to Boost Your Confidence for a First Date

We all know that butterfly-in-the-stomach feeling we get right before a first date. This feeling can be exacerbated for those of us professional singles who have been out of the dating scene for years. But don't be afraid to get back in the saddle and go at it again.

We all have feelings of self-doubt and anxiety, but we also don't want to bring those emotions with us on a first date. So leave those feelings at home and use these 7 tips to help you feel confident so you can actually enjoy your first date.

 Relax and Don't Sweat It!

Try not to let your nerves get the best of you. Try giving yourself 30 minutes to an hour to relax before your date. Try turning on some soft music and meditating. Simply follow your breathing and try to slow your breath rate down. Drink some chamomile tea or some wine. Consider avoiding coffee, which might make you feel even more anxious. If you really feel you need to relax, you could even get a massage, do some calming yoga, or go to a spa prior to your date.

Put Yourself in a Good Mood

Do something that you enjoy. Get your endorphins going. Eat some chocolate. Go for a run. Engage in a favorite hobby. Whatever it is that you enjoy, do it. Lift your spirits. Dress in clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. If you look and feel your best before your date, you will naturally be more confident.


Be Open to the Dating Experience

Put down your rigid expectations and just be open to the experience. Think of it as an experiment. It might go well, it might not. Relax into this idea and just remain open to possibility. Try not to start thinking about what your date would be like 10 years down the road. Don't take it too seriously. Remember it is just a date. Stay in the moment and enjoy what it offers you.

Be Yourself

As cliche as it might sound, it really is important to just be yourself. Don't try to put on a façade and act like someone you are not. If you want this to go beyond a first date, you will want the person to like you for who you are, not for who you pretended to be. Be honest, open, and confident with who you are. If you and your date have chemistry, great! If not, no worries; he or she is not the only human on the planet.

Focus on Your Strengths Not Your Weaknesses

Don't complain or engage in negative self-talk on your first date. Share your strengths and accomplishments. We all have our weaknesses. We have all made mistakes. But, there's no need to give them all away on a first date. First impressions are everything. Keep the date in a positive light.

Remember, Your Date is Human Too

Remember that the person on the other end is a person too. They have emotions just like you and are most likely, just as nervous. Relax in this acknowledgment. Treat the other person as you would want to be treated and most likely, you'll have a successful evening. Even if you don't work out as lovers, perhaps you will meet a new friend. Each person we meet brings to us a new point of view, a new perspective to see the world. Even if you never meet this person again, there is something he can teach you. Try looking at your date from this perspective and you find it much easier to relax and be confident for the experience.


A genuine smile goes a long way. It's friendly, warm, open, and inviting, Try not to focus so much on the end result of the date, and just be happy to be having the experience. Greet your date with a smile, smile throughout the date, and say goodbye with a smile.

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Google Glasses for Dating Singles

Would you think twice before going on a first date with someone knowing they were wearing a pair of Google glasses? Maybe you should watch this short first date video caputred by a guy wearing Goolge glasses. He builds instant rapport with his date by using the technology to search for her online and find some common ground, in this case, dogs. It definitely helps him get the conversation going. Before you know it, he's talking about Downtown Abbey while looking it up on IMDb. But the date is suddently cut short from intel received by an unlikely source. Is this type of technology in dating a huge benefit for professional singles or a huge distraction?

Online Dating Tips From a Personal Matchmaker

Did you know that nearly 1 out of 4 couples meet online? So we're giving you tips from It's Just matchmaker Emily Fry on how to avoid the pitfalls of online dating.

When browsing through profiles be sure to watch out for what Fry calls "yellow" flags, things that might not necessarily be a red flag but still make you pause. "Take those, put them in your back pocket, and see if anything develops from those," says the personal matchmaker. You also want to give the profiles a good read to ensure that the values they listed on the profile match the values of someone you would like to date. 

Be careful about what information you share with somone. There are something you just don't want to over share. "At It's Just Lunch, for instance, we don't give out last names, phone numbers or where anybody works," says Fry. If you're online dating, singles may want to follow suit by not giving out that information eiher. 

Exchange messages or talk on the phone before deciding to meet someone. It gives you a chance to see if this is someone you really want to meet live and in the flesh. However, Fry says that what you don't want to do is exchange emails for weeks, then talk on the phone for another month. "All you're doing at that point is developing an emotional connection to the person that may or may not be based in reality," she says. At the end of the day, you will never really be sure about what kind of chemistry you'll have until you meet in person. 

Meet in a public place once you do agree to meet someone for a first date, but don't do an activity or go to the movies. "Go some place where you can actually talk and get to know each other, just make it low-key," Fry recommends. "At It's Just Lunch, we tend to set up drinks after work during the week, or lunch or brunch on the weekends," she says. "That's what you should do for your online dating as well."

Always have a point of contact. Before you leave for your date, fill someone in on your date details--where you're going, who you're meeting, when you'll be home, etc. If a date is going really well and it progresses at a different menu, let that someone know about your slight change of plans. "It's just better to be safe than sorry, " says the matchmaker for professional singles.

Did you know that Wednesday is the #1 preferred day of the week for a first date? It's low-pressure and gives men a chance to ask women out for the weekend if their first date turns out great. When's the last time you've had a date?