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August 2013

It Really Does Take Two To Tango

Tango with its just lunch
Some singles have a hard time deciphering whether or not their date is genuinely interested in them. People express themselves differently depending on their personality temperament or even past experiences. In fact, it's not at all uncommon for some singles to mistake attention for affection.

The key to finding out if someone is interested in you as a friend, or possibly more, is through the act of reciprocity. Think about this way. Most people are afraid of rejection, regardless if you're a man or a woman. It really doesn't matter who makes the first move, just as someone as long as someone is making a move to begin with. This gives the other person a chance to respond to the move with further encouragements or a move of his or her own. 

For example, simply making eye contact with someone may not be enough to indicate interest, but if you start a conversation with someone, you can gage their level of interest based on the response. If the person continues to engage with, that person is interested in continuing the conversations until that interest escalates or wanes. However, if the person isn't really engaging with you and is responding with simple, one-word answers, then that person just isn't interested enough to reciprocate. 

The common expression "it takes two to tango" has never been more true than in dating and relationships. It's a wonderful dance of give and take to a song that never stops. The next time you meet someone with romantic potential, put out a few feelers in the form of playful comments or potential opportunities to hang out in the future and see if the response you get is favorable or revealing in other ways. 


How to Maximize Your Lunch Hour

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Remember the saying “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day?” Well, there are other meals that you shouldn’t overlook.  According to surveys from Monster and Career Builder, a good percentage of professionals purchase lunch from vending machines or eat at their desk—if at all, a poor habit that produces the opposite effects intended.

Without a break in the day, afternoon energy levels wane resulting in decreased mental acuity and lower levels of productivity, caution management experts. Sure, in today’s competitive work place, the pressure is on to deliver results in volume and speed, but since when has the fear of lagging behind the pack overcome the basic and healthy need of having a midday meal?

Fact is, though employer and client demands may seem pressing, you can’t afford not to have lunch. A noontime pause is a good time to recalibrate and fine tune other areas of your life. You can reap the benefits, both professionally and personally, from a bit of mental and physical refreshment.

Here at It’s Just Lunch, we find that the time is a good way to meet people face to face, to connect or reconnect. These human encounters have become increasingly valuable in our digital world. Do you want to get to know your colleague better? Ask him for coffee and sandwiches at a nearby café. What about the acquaintance that has romantic potential? Dine her at the trattoria around the corner.

Intimate yet informal, lunch is a session that’s long enough to build bonds, yet short enough to fit easily into your schedule.  And yes, those 45 minutes to an hour be yond the cubicle walls can make a big difference when it comes to relationships—platonic, romantic, business, and otherwise. So go ahead, reach out, and pencil in a lunch date.


Tips for Instant Attraction

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How quickly can you click with someone? Instantaneously? Good news: according to a recent Stanford University study, the answer is: It doesn’t take long. Meaningful bonds can be formed even after just a brief period of time revealed the study published in the American Journal of Sociology. The key to these connections? In part, the expression of understanding, engagement, and enthusiasm, which underscores the fact that, yes, words (and how they’re delivered) do matter.

The findings emphasize the importance of communication, which trumps other characteristics such as physical attractiveness, status, and intelligence when building an initial rapport. After all, searching for a suitable mate isn’t just about meeting the right person, it’s about finding common ground and nurturing that relation once you do make that fortuitous encounter. Though you might want to impress your potential mate by dressing your best or touting your credentials, ultimately, the most crucial factor on a first date is the interaction that plays out between you. So maybe he’s climbed Kilimanjaro twice or she graduated top of her class and still manages to make a killer roast. But if there’s no alignment of interests, than the connection is far from forged.

So how does that translate into relationship advice for the rest of us? First impressions do count, but before running down your list of compatibility criteria, shift your attention to shared experiences, listen carefully, be a mirror of empathy.  As the study shows, it doesn’t take more than a few minutes to set off a spark…yet those few moments can turn into true love everlasting.


Can Facebook Really Help Matchmakers Play Cupid?

Professional matchmakers are experimenting with a new way of finding you a match by using Facebook's Graph Search, a new feature that makes it easier for users to find something or someone that match your specific criteria. For example, you can type in "singles who leave nearby" or "singles who work nearby" to get a results page filled with romantic prospects within your social sphere that you may not have considered. You can modify your search to singles who live in a specific area or professional singles who work for a specific company. You can even extend your search to include your friends of friends, ya know, so you can casually "bump" into someone you think is you cute the next time your mutual friend invites you out to a social event.

According to a recent survey conducted by It's Just Lunch about relationships and technology, it is not at all uncommon for people to use Facebook for an informal, pre-date background check. Professional singles are even using Facebook post-date to verify information received during a date. In a world of online dating, deception is still a major concern for those committed to finding love which is why singles are scoping their dates out online. 

However, there is one major flaw in using Facebook for verifying someone's relationship status, for example. Some people who are "in a relationship" may show up "single" if they did not bother to change their relationship status, or don't believe in changing their relationship status unless someone "puts a ring on it." This raises an interesting yet entirely different question: At what point during a relationship does it become "Facebook official"?

In case you were wondering, It's Just Lunch does not use Graph Search to find matches for its clients and instead uses its own database of singles. Besides, most professional singles never prefer to keep their relationships strictly offline and seldem, if not never, interact with a romantic interest via social media.

Get social with other professional singles by follwing It's Just Lunch on Facebook and LinkedIn.


Summer Flings & Renewable Marriage Licenses

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With summer drawing to a close, August has become one of the most popular summer months for travel. Professional singles are finding love in unexpected places through their travels, but sometimes logistics make it impossible to experience a full-blown relationship. Does this mean you should stop spending time with this person because the relationship may have an expiration date of a few days or a few months depending on their travel plans? It's Just Lunch dating matchmaking service does not think so.

Be open to the possibility of connecting with someone no matter how short a time you are given with that person. It can be an eye-opening lesson that teaches you not to take for granted your future relationships, which many professional singles may have done in the past and not realized until after the relationship was over. 

The best way to approach a summer fling is to live in the moment and enjoy each and every one of those moments. Every interaction in life is a moment of self-exploration. No matter how evolved we professional singles think we are, there is always room to learn something new or reaffirming about ourselves, at any age, through each or our dating or relationship encounters.

Though few professional singles will admit, there is something oddly comforting about knowing that a relationship has a deadline. It almost makes the pain of heartbreak more bareable, especially when there is a mutual agreement that a relationship will only last for a certain period of time at which point you can re-negotiate the terms of a relationship should circumstances change.

What if marriage licenses had an expiration date? Do you think more people would get married knowing there was an easy out if they felt it wasn't work out? Do you think there would be far less divorce drama? Follow It's Just Lunch on Facebook and send us a message to share your thoughts. We love talking relationships with you!