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March 2014

Dating Conversation Etiquette Tips

Assistant entertainment editor Hayden Manders wrote quite the entertaining piece on modern dating problems over at Refinery29.com. The piece includes fun graphics displayed in a slideshow format illustrating 10 of the newest dating anxieties singles face as a direct result of text messaging playing a more integral role in dating and relationships. 

"Now that we're fully aware of our ability to hide behind emotionless, glowing words, our yearning to somehow convey emotion has skyrocketed," writes the beanies-crazed editor. "The emphasis has shifted away from tonal reflection to grammatical nuances and emoticons. Since we've removed the audible voice from conversation, our need to know whether our digital voice was delivered, heard, and seen is now paramount to our sense of well-being," he writes. 

Did you get my text?

The bane of our dating lives now rests on knowing whether someone saw our text message and wondering why they haven't had time to respond if they had time to read their text messages or update their Facebook status. 

For the record, do yourself a favor and turn off "Send Read Receipts" under your message settings (if you have an iPhone). If you leave it on, you're leaving others in agony when you don't respond right away. Leave it off and keep people in suspense instead. 

Um... ok.

Another interesting dating anxiety Manders brings up is the difference between "ok" and "k." You knew in your gut there was a clear difference between these two Ks, but shrugged it off figuring you may have been over thinking it. Well, we're here to tell you that you are not crazy at all. While the first variation denotes nonchalance, the second variation denotes irritation or annoyance. There is a caveat here dependent upon the texting style of the person you're texting. If the person isn't a real big texter or is always on the go, one word or one letter responses may be completely normal and thus no cause for alarm. 

Emoticons overkill.

Have you ever exchanged text messages with someone that ends almost every text message with a smiley face or a wink? After awhile, you start to wonder whether the person sending the text is overcompensating for something.... a lack of conversation skills, perhaps? The frustrating part about emoticons is that there aren't any clear-cut rules on how or when to use them. What we do know, however, is that using them too much can indeed hinder your dating prospects. 

Earlier this year, TIME reported that men who used smiley faces in their dating profiles or in messages received significantly lower response rates than those who refrained from emoticons altogether. You may want to play it safe and refrain from emoticons when first exchanging text messages with someone new until you get to know their texting style.

Visit www.ItsJustLunch.com to learn how our expert matchmakers can help you alleviate some of your biggest anxieties toward dating. 


7 Cardinal Sins of Dating

7 deadly sins

The season of Mardi Gras has came and gone with this week marking the beginning of the Lent season, which for some singles has become almost like a second chance at a New Year's Resolution, only with a far less commitment of 40 days and 40 nights as oppsed to an entire year.

Earlier this year, you may have vowed that this year would be different. This year would be the year you turned your love life around. Now we're coming up on the rear of the year's first quarter and the hopeful attitude you started the year with may have dwindled.

It seems like the longer you've been single, the less motivated you become to have what you've always wanted. Could you have fallen prey to the seven cardinal sins of dating? Read on to find out as It's Just Lunch sheds light on how these cardinal sins can manifest themselves into your dating life and relationships. 

 You may already be familiar with the bibilical reference behind the seven deadly sins which include: pride, sloth, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and greed. Let's take a look at each of these sins, one by one, and explore its traditional origins, how it manifests itself into your dating life and what you can do to move beyond these sins in favor of a more fulfilling relationship you deserve.

Pride is what happens when excessive self-esteem becomes vanity and you develop a rather high opinion for yourself. Pride manifests itself into your dating life and your relationships when you think no one is worthy enough to be with you. For the next 30 days,  challenge yourself to start dating and engaging in relationships with people you normally wouldn't date without any expectations other than to have fun, make a new friend and learn more about yourself through your various interactions with others. 

Sloth is what happens when excessive laziness turns to apathy, and apathy can really kill your chances at love and happiness. Sloth manifests itself in your dating life and your relationships when you become too busy for love, you're not being proactive about improving your love life and you become rather complacent about it. For the next 30 days, challenge yourself to change how you feel about dating and make relationships more of a priority because love in all its form. Love can actually be a very exciting thing if you let it.

Wrath is what happens when you've been burned in a past relationship and you hold all this anger and resentment inside toward the opposite sex as a result. Wrath can manifest itself into your dating life and your relationships in the form of generic complaints about being single, trusting people or a lack of available, quality suitors. For the next 30 days, challenge yourself to let go of the past and ask yourself if all the anger and resentment is attracting more or less of what you want in your relationships.

Envy is what happens when you covet that which belongs to someone else and you start resenting them for having something (or someone) that you believe yourself not good enough to have also. Envy manifests itself into your dating life and relationships when you adopt this shoppers mentality of dating, always looking for someone better, an upgrade and not being happy in your current relationship. For the next 30 days, challenge yourself to be more grateful for what you do have or used to have and let that gratitude radiate from every fiber of your being so you can attract more of what you want into your life. 

Lust is what happens when you have an intense sexual desire or appetite. While most would believe lust to be a harmless, widely accepted part of the dating game, it can also be confused with love at the beginning of a new relationship. Lust manifests itself into your dating life and relationships when intimacy is shared without any emotions, which makes it increasingly difficult to know if someone is really right for you and ultimately endangers your chances of a future commitment. For the next 30 days, challenge yourself to wait twice as long as your normally would before giving into your carnal urges. 

Gluttony is what happens when you consume anything in excess or do anything to the extreme. It can manfiest itself into your dating life and relationships in the form of neediness, when you rely on someone in excess for self-validation and emotional fulfillment. For the next 30 days, challenge yourself to identify your unmet needs and learn how to deal with them by developing a new set of interests that could help meet those unmet needs.

Greed is what happens when you have an excessive desire for copious amounts of wealth and possessions. It can manifest itself into your dating life and relationships when monetary considerations dictate your dating preferences and you tend to overlook a person's character or morals in favor of monetary assets. For the next 30 days, challenge yourself to look past a person's bank account and into their heart for a more meaningful exchange of currency. 

Can you see how some of these seens may have been manifesting themselves into your life? What are some other ways singles can use to absolve themselves of these cardinal dating sins? Send It's Just Lunch a message on Facebook to connect with a dating specialist near you.