The biggest dilemma almost every professional matchmaker encounters with clients is professional singles who feel like they don’t know how to flirt. This is especially the case with singles who have recently divorced and are just getting back into the dating scene. It’s also the case with singles in managerial roles where flirting can be misconstrued as interest or favoritism, so they end up avoiding it all together and may have forgotten how to do it in settings when it’s actually okay to flirt.
It seems like these singles and others like them view flirting in such a narrow capacity that it almost hinders their inherent ability to do it. In fact, they do it everyday at work and don’t even recognize it as a form of flirting; they think they're just being friendly, which of course they are. After all, there is definitely an element of friendliness that’s assumed when people flirt.
Flirting is simply a lighthearted interaction between two people as if they are attracted to each other, though attraction is by no means a prerequisite for flirting. In most cases, people flirt to express romantic interest in someone or to reciprocate such interest. In many other cases, people do it for for fun, to make someone smile or to give themselves an ego boost perhaps. However, flirting can also be used as a great relationship building tool in more professional settings when used strategically.
The matchmakers at It’s Just Lunch have a few flirtings tips you can practice on virtually anyone so that it comes more second-nature to you when you’re on a real date with someone you actually like.
Flirting Tip #1: Compliments can go a long ways.
Rarely does a compliment ever go unappreciated, especially when it’s perceived by the person receiving the compliment as genuine and sincere. A compliment is nothing more than saying a few polite words to someone offering up praise or admiration. For example, if someone in your office recently received a promotion, don’t be afraid to congratulate them by saying something nice about why they deserved it. Try to steer clear of compliments revolving around physical appearance if you want to play it safe and avoid giving someone at work the wrong impression. The great thing about compliments is that they tend to make people like you more, which makes work a lot more pleasant than working with people that don’t like you at all. People like being around other people who make them feel good about themselves.
Flirting Tip #2: Humor is your best friend.
Who doesn’t enjoy a good laugh from time to time? The great thing about humor is that it can be used to ease tension in the workplace or make someone feel more comfortable or at ease during an important business meeting with a top-level executive. Besides, people tend to have a natural liking towards someone who can make them laugh. However, be careful not to cross the line with anything potentially inappropriate. Try to keep any jokes you share clean and friendly with one good rule of thumb in mind: If it’s a joke you wouldn’t tell to your boss, your mother, or a complete stranger, then you probably shouldn’t tell it, least of all to someone you’re interested in dating.
Flirting Tip #3: Show genuine interest in people.
The key to flirting your way to success lies in having an authentic charm about you. The easiest way to turn up your charm is to be genuinely interested in people. What fascinates you most about people, the way they think, or the things that make them tick? Ask them questions; some people love talking about themselves. Another way to turn up the charm is by simply remembering people’s names. When meeting people for the first time, be sure to repeat their name at least three times during the initial conversation to help you remember it.
Hopefully, these tips will set you off in the right direction to use flirting beyond the scope of dating in a way that helps you build quality relationships with people you see everyday in the office, at home or out and about in town. The most important thing to remember about flirting for success is to keep it light, fun and positive while being empathetic to other people’s feelings. If you can do this, then you will flirt the way flirting was supposed to happen - naturally and effortlessly.
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