It's Just Lunch :: The Dating Tips Blog

How do professional singles celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Also known as National Singles Awareness Day, Valentine's Day is one of those overly commercialized holidays that can create a lot of angsts for some singles. Men have it especially hard with the added pressure or responsibility of having to pay for a Valentine's Day date, whether it's the first date or the 50th date. It seems like single women everywhere expect men to adhere to traditional forms of courtship that often includes a lunch or dinner date. It’s no wonder the lines of courtship are blurring for Millennial singles who much prefer “hanging out” over “dating” any day of the week.

In a recent article, the New York Times suggested the end of courtship because of the implications technology has had on relationships. While it may be true that traditional courtship appears to be in decline, this does not mean that singles are throwing courtship out the door completely. If anything, singles are struggling to adjust their dating habits without compromising their own values when it comes to dating and relationships, even if it means “hanging out” with someone a few times before deciding whether there is a viable relationship in the works.

Coming back to the question of how professional singles celebrate Valentine’s Day, it should be easy. If they aren’t spending more time in the office, you can certainly find them “hanging out” with some of their favorite single friends happily enjoying an anti-Valentine post-work cocktail. Perhaps one cocktail will lead to another, and another will lead to an unexpected attraction. In the midst of all this hanging out, perhaps a few sparks might even start flying.

So all of you dating singles, hang out and hang out a lot. Because at the end of the day, you really don’t know where all this hanging out will lead to unless you start hanging out more. Besides, the best relationships usually start off as friendships, and what do friends do all the time? Yes, you guessed it--they hang out.

Did you like this blog post? Tell your single friends about it and visit It’s Just Lunch on Facebook where you can send us all your dating questions and we’ll write about it here just for you. Afterall, we are here to better serve YOU and to help you get the most out of your dating life.

Professional Singles and Attraction

How many dates does it usually take for you to decide whether you are attracted to someone or not? It’s Just Lunch asked its Facebook community of professional singles and the answers varied between one and three dates.

Here at It’s Just Lunch, we realize that attraction plays a huge role in the chemistry of dating. In fact, when it comes to determining romantic chemistry, most of the busy professional singles we work with focus very heavily on physical attributes, especially those who look 10 years younger than their actual age as well as those with a strong commitment to fitness and health. It’s only natural to want to be matched up with someone who looks as good and fit as yourself.

The problem with this kind of attraction, however, is that it doesn’t take into account the kind of attraction that is built over a period of time the more you get to know someone. Since time isn’t exactly a luxury for busy singles dating, there are actually a few body language tricks you could use to create instant attraction with someone you are really interested in.

#1) Always smile. Smiles are almost as contagious as sneezes and lets your date know that you are friendly and inviting. Even if you aren’t sure what to say, a smile can go a long way letting your date know that you’re having a great time and enjoy their company.

#2) Keep an open posture. Good body language conveys more than just confidence. It also conveys interest. Are your shoulders and feet facing your date or the door? Are you arms crossed or resting comfortably at your sides? Pay attention to message you’re sending with your body.

#3) Maintain eye contact. Some say that the eyes tell no lies. You can make your date feel uneasy if you’re looking everywhere in the room but at him or her, or you can signal your attraction to your date with a lingering gaze.

#4) Mirror their body language. You can put your date at ease by mimicking their tone of voice or their body language to create an illusion of being in tune with each other. It’s a great way to build rapport with someone new making it easier to connect and communicate.

In general, just be mindful of the way you communicate with your date. Only a small percentage of communication occurs through the words we speak. More than half of all the talking is actually done with your body. What kind of body signals do you use to indicate your attraction for someone? Follow It's Just Lunch of Facebook to let us know how you use body language to indicate interest or disinterest.

Notre Dame’s Manti Te’o Catfishing Sham Reminds Singles to Be Vigilant Daters

Unless you’ve been cooped up in your office with no access to public media, surely you have heard about how Notre Dame’s linebacker Manti Te’o got duped into a fake online relationship in what everyone is calling a “catfishing” sham. As it turns out, Lennay Kekua never died of leukemia nor did she ever exist outside of cyberspace.

What is Catfishing?

The term has arisen in the sports world in the wake of the Manti Te’o dead-girlfriend hoax, which quickly went viral once the truth was exposed. It’s a term that was coined by a 2010 documentary called “Catfish” following the pseudo relationship between 24-year-old Yaniv Shulman and bored housewife Angela Wesselman, who fabricated her identify as 19-year-old Megan Faccio using pictures of another woman by the name of Adriana Gonzales. After a quote from Wesselman’s husband, Vince Pierce, about catfish, the term became an expression for falsifying one’s persona to carry out a fake relationship without ever really meeting in person.

Simple Tips for Avoiding Fake Relationships

Make plans to meet. If someone doesn’t want to meet with you, always flakes at the last minute and is constantly making excuses why they can’t meet, then you should save your time and energy for someone who actually gives you the time of day in the flesh.

Set up a Skype date. If distance is factor, then your online date should have no problem conversing with you via Skype. It’s all too easy for someone to post a fake photo of themselves and lie via text or phone. Be wary of someone who refuses to Skype with you no matter how good their excuse might be.

Look for red flags. If it’s too good to be true, then it probably is. Common red flags to look for include stories that don’t add up, foreign origins, and overtly romantic comments expressing any kind of emotionally forwardness. Real love and chemistry happens in the flesh, and face to face.

Do your research. Become a fact-checker. Google their name. Look them on social media in case you share a mutual friend who can vouch for them. Verify their information to make sure stories add up. If it makes you feel comfortable, conduct a background search just as you would before hiring a new employee.

Have you ever been the victim of "catfishing"? Meet It's Just Lunch Matchmaker Stephanie Kluver who did a fantastic job representing our company in a FOX TV segment where she expressed how important it is to meet in person and face-to-face.

KMSP-TV

Do you think Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o was really drawn into a fake online relationship, or do you think it was a publicity stunt sportswriters bought into full-heartedly?

Are You In The Right Profession for Dating?

Can mixing business with pleasure lead to romantic opportunities? While some professional singles try to keep them separate, others can’t help but mix the two. In the latest It’s Just Lunch Survey, we asked more than 4,000 singles how they mix business and pleasure from their preferred first date activity to how much time they devote between work and play.The results revealed an interesting trend indicating the role reversals of men and women in their attitudes toward dating.

Did you know that 45% of women are more likely to talk about business or work-related topics than their male counterparts, fifty-five percent (55%) of which stray away from such discussions? Despite the fact that one quarter of the singles we surveyed prefer dating an entrepreneur or business owner, one interesting thing It’s Just Lunch discovered was that 26% of men had a higher preference for dating someone in the medical field, while 31% of women showed a higher preference for dating business executives. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it.

Women like talking about business so dating a business executive would be ideal. The problem for these women, however, is that most of these business executive types would rather talk about something completely unrelated to their profession, which makes dating someone in the medical field a much more attractive option. But men aren’t the only ones who prefer diversity in their relationships.

In fact, most of the singles we polled (69%) prefer dating someone in a different industry altogether. One possible reason for wanting to date someone outside your profession is to avoid competition or jealousy. When you run in the same professional circle, it’s hard not to bring work home with you. Besides, diversity is what makes relationships fun and exciting. It can also keep conversations from going dull.

The least desired professions to date included real estate, finance and law since professionals in those field are considered most likely to bring work home with them. Women especially have a hard time drawing the line between work and play while men seem to be hardwired with an easy on and off switch.

If you happen to be among the handful of people who have trouble making time for dating, then the best places to meet other professional singles are business networking events. You can kill two birds with one stone as you build meaningful relationships with potential business partners, clients and even romantic interests. While 39% of singles who attend networking events keep it strictly professional, there are still 21% of singles who attend for business and personal reasons. If even only two of you are there with a similar romantic ulterior motive, then you just might cross paths with your ideal match.

As far as first dates are concerned, most business-oriented singles prefer cocktails after work over coffee anytime. Perhaps it’s that dash of liquid courage that calms most first-date nerves, but then again perhaps the 22% of singles who preferred coffee simply don’t drink alcohol in favor of sobriety.

Regardless of what profession you’re in, no one wants to be or date a workaholic. The more you make time for dating, the more successful you’ll be at it in much the same way you’ve become successful in your current profession with all the time you’ve made prioritizing your career over love. It’s time you started rewarding yourself for all your hard work by inviting the relationship and love you seek to enhance the quality of the life you’ve built for yourself.

So are you in the right profession for dating? Maybe, maybe not, but as long as you have a job, have your own life outside of a relationship, and don’t mind driving the next town over for a date, the odds are still in your favor.

Relationships and Technology

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