It's Just Lunch :: The Dating Tips Blog

In the Papers...

The Irish Examiner says that an increasing amount of single people are Googling prospective partners before embarking on a first date. A survey by the It's Just Lunch dating service found that 58 percent of men and women conduct an internet search for their date's name before leaving the house. And 88 percent of the 500 respondents, when asked if they would be offended that their date had Googled them, replied: "Not when I'd probably have Googled them too."

Fall and Winter Date Ideas in Chicago, IL from It's Just Lunch

 

Great Fall Date Ideas:

Go to the Zoo- Stroll through Lincoln Park Zoo and watch your favorite animals roam around in their habitats. Best of all, the Lincoln Park Zoo is free, so when you are done strolling through the park head out to lunch at one of the many lunch spots on Clark St.

Go to the Apple Orchard- Apples are so much better from the Apple Orchard; this is a really fun outdoor fall date idea. After picking a dozen apples, warm up side by side with a cup of fresh hot apple cider and warm fresh donuts.

Take a Walk- On a nice fall day, grab a sweater or light jacket and take a walk on Michigan Avenue.  Start at the 900 shops and make your way down to Millennium Park. End your stroll at Cosi’s for an inexpensive and delicious treat of hot chocolate and s’mores. 

Winter Date Ideas:

Ice Skating: Take your date to Millennium Park to enjoy some ice skating.  After your done, take a stroll through the park and who knows you may feel like having an impromptu snow ball fight!

Tailgating At Home: Invite your date and friends over for a fun-filled day of football. Make your famous chili recipe and have everyone bring a dish to pass. After all there’s nothing that spells winter more than football.

Take a Cooking Class: There are great places that offer unique classes all over the city. From roasts and stews to foods from all over the world, you and your date will get hands on in the kitchen.

Movie Nights: Take your movie night to the next level. Create a themed dinner menu to that movie that you two can make together.

Visualizing your ideal partner...

Visualizing your ideal partner and the relationship you want is a great motivator. Athletes have long understood this process of imagery and will visualize a goal before acting on it. You can do the same with your love life. Give it a shot now! You have nothing to lose.

Close your eyes and picture your ideal partner. Engage all your senses. How does this person smell? What does he or she look like? Listen to this person’s voice. How does it sound? Where are you? What are you doing? Are your friends and family around? How does he or she interact with them? Try this a few times until the picture becomes clear, then take out a piece of paper and make a list of the most important characteristics of this partner.

List about 20 qualities that mean something to you. What values and attributes does this person have? Look over your list and separate your “deal breakers” from your “ideals.” “Deal breakers” are the absolute nonnegotiable traits, like finding a partner who wants children or is of the same religion (if those traits are important to you).

“Ideals” are more about the attributes or traits you’d prefer, like “ambitious” or “good sense of humor.” By prioritizing which qualities are important and which are ideal, you’ll discover what you’re absolutely unwilling to accept and where you’ve got some flexibility.

Become a Pro at the Art of Flirting with the Opposite Sex

You finally get them to notice you and they walk over to talk to you. Now what? How do you keep them interested? That is where the art of flirting comes in. It's really quite simple.

It’s Saturday night in a crowded bar. A man and woman are locked in conversation. She’s laughing, batting her eyelashes and playing with her hair. He’s standing with his head tilted slightly, leaning in toward her and occasionally touching her arm. They’re performing a social ritual that’s been around for more than 5,000 years — flirting. 

Flirting is one of the great joys in life. It’s an ego booster that makes you feel more attractive and desirable. Flirt with someone and they feel excited, flattered, appreciated and darn good about themselves. So indulge yourself whenever possible.

Two things are going on when you flirt. The first is the actual conversation, and the second is your body language. Flirting is an enticement and an invitation that lets the other person catch glimpses of your most attractive characteristics and behaviors.

These days, it’s a lost art, but it’s great fun when done well. Practice flirting with acquaintances or friends of the opposite sex (without telling them) and see what techniques get the best response.

For those who feel clueless about where to even start, we assure you that flirting is a learned behavior. It’s not only possible to pick up the basics, but with a little practice, you can perfect the art. Let’s start with the flirting conversation.

Be Flexible...

Don’t be overly specific when you think about your ideal partner — such as wanting “tall blondes” or “no bald guys.” Celebrate individuality and be open to new possibilities.

You could end up ruling out the woman or man of your dreams simply because they have the wrong hair color or are a few hairs short. Remember, it’s a wish list, and nobody’s perfect. Over the coming months, it will change and grow as you discover what’s really important to you in a relationship. Remain flexible and open with your “ideals.”

Fools Rush In

One of the biggest dating mistakes many singles make is when people are in too much of a rush to settle down. Disaster! They hook up with the first compatible person who comes along, instead of dating several people and then making a powerful choice as to what’s best for them.

Give yourself time to choose. The dating experience teaches you a great deal about what’s really important to you in a partner and what you have to offer. By observing yourself, you will gain new insight into how you react to different situations, and which problems you bring into each relationship. It’s only when you are inside the dynamic of a relationship that you can truly discover these things — otherwise it’s all “in your head.”

Searching for Soulmate

People who don't like dating but want life partner hire the experts

I appreciate my husband for many reasons. He's kind, funny, smart, talented and he's still here.

The latter is important because if he weren't, I would be single and you know what that means?

Yes, better night's sleep, less laundry and cracker boxes in the cupboard that actually have crackers in them. But while those are attractive, they don't outweigh the scary idea of dating.

I wonder, is there a personal ad code for bossy, opinionated, neat-freak, misanthropic, virgo woman?

So, where does someone find a date these days?...

For the full article, go to http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/story.html?id=c82f7986-b15c-4947-b808-a174961e2358

Change Your Outlook and Your Luck Will Change

Six Ways to Maximize Your Fun

1. Approach dating as not just looking for an important relationship, but as enjoying life.

2. View dating as a chance to increase your circle of friends.

3. Find innovative and unusual places to meet people. Join a club, volunteer or take up a sport.

4. Take one positive aspect away from each date. For example, “I liked his values, her sense of style or his humor.” Pick a quality or characteristic that you would like in your future mate. This benefits you, even if you aren’t attracted to that person.

5. Become the person you’d like to date. Use your experiences as an opportunity for personal growth.

6. Embrace your singledom. You have the freedom to do anything you want, meet everyone you want and learn everything you can about yourself.

The point is to keep dating light and casual, especially early on. On a first date, go out to lunch, drinks or brunch and split the check. This keeps the expectations and pressure lower. If you decide to see each other again, you know your date is interested in you. It’s that simple.

As you get to know each new person, you’ll have an opportunity to “try each other out” and see if the relationship might work. Pay attention to what you’re discovering. As you progress on your dating journey, you’ll be exposed to new types of people and new ideas. Even if a date doesn’t

develop into a full-blown relationship, you’re still growing and learning as a human being, which makes life interesting and exciting.

Dating Trends Survey...

In a survey by It’s Just Lunch of 38,912 singles, IJL found that:

·         1 in 8: the chance a woman has of a 2nd date if she has not heard from him within 24 hours of their first date.

·         Top conversation killers: past relationships—49%, dieting or body image—21%, politics—15% and marriage—15%.

·         17%--the chance of liking a date set up by a friend.

·         88% of women find money to be very important in a relationship.

·         Topic to ignore on a first date—60% of women and 64% of men don’t talk politics on a first date.

·         52% of singles feel they are too busy to meet other singles.

·         76% of women date men that are at least 5 years older than them, while 80% of men date women that are at least 5 years younger than them.

·         53% of singles find a great smile the most attractive feature.

·         43% of singles have Googled someone on the internet before a first date.

5 Things to Say When You're Interested/Not Interested

Five Things to Say If You Want to See Them Again

1. “I had a great time. Would you like to get together again soon?”

2. “Would you be interested in dinner next time?”

3. “This was a great lunch! I’d like to get to know you better.”

4. “I’m going hiking on Saturday and would love for you to join me.”

5. “Now that the hard part is out of the way, are you interested in going out again?”

Five Things to Say When You’re Not Interested

1. “The best of luck and fun in your future dates. Thanks again.”

2. “I can see us becoming friends. I’d like to invite you to my next party.”

3. “I had a good time, but I just don’t think we have that much in common.” (Very politely

point out the differences between your lifestyles, interests, etc., which will show why you’re not a good match.)

4. “I have a friend you might like, can I give him/her your number?”

5. “I feel that the chemistry just isn’t quite right between us.” (This implies it’s a mutual thing.)