It's Just Lunch :: The Dating Tips Blog

Online Dating Tips From a Personal Matchmaker

Did you know that nearly 1 out of 4 couples meet online? So we're giving you tips from It's Just matchmaker Emily Fry on how to avoid the pitfalls of online dating.

When browsing through profiles be sure to watch out for what Fry calls "yellow" flags, things that might not necessarily be a red flag but still make you pause. "Take those, put them in your back pocket, and see if anything develops from those," says the personal matchmaker. You also want to give the profiles a good read to ensure that the values they listed on the profile match the values of someone you would like to date. 

Be careful about what information you share with somone. There are something you just don't want to over share. "At It's Just Lunch, for instance, we don't give out last names, phone numbers or where anybody works," says Fry. If you're online dating, singles may want to follow suit by not giving out that information eiher. 

Exchange messages or talk on the phone before deciding to meet someone. It gives you a chance to see if this is someone you really want to meet live and in the flesh. However, Fry says that what you don't want to do is exchange emails for weeks, then talk on the phone for another month. "All you're doing at that point is developing an emotional connection to the person that may or may not be based in reality," she says. At the end of the day, you will never really be sure about what kind of chemistry you'll have until you meet in person. 

Meet in a public place once you do agree to meet someone for a first date, but don't do an activity or go to the movies. "Go some place where you can actually talk and get to know each other, just make it low-key," Fry recommends. "At It's Just Lunch, we tend to set up drinks after work during the week, or lunch or brunch on the weekends," she says. "That's what you should do for your online dating as well."

Always have a point of contact. Before you leave for your date, fill someone in on your date details--where you're going, who you're meeting, when you'll be home, etc. If a date is going really well and it progresses at a different menu, let that someone know about your slight change of plans. "It's just better to be safe than sorry, " says the matchmaker for professional singles.

Did you know that Wednesday is the #1 preferred day of the week for a first date? It's low-pressure and gives men a chance to ask women out for the weekend if their first date turns out great. When's the last time you've had a date?

20 Years of Dating & Matchmaking for Singles

20 Years of First Dates from itsjustlunch

Find out what other busy singles have to say about dating, chemistry, first impressions and other dating-related topics for professional singles.

6 Tips for a Stress-Free Valentine's Day for Singles

Did you know that many singles date in seasons? They avoid relationships between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day just to escape the pressure of the media, their peers and colleagues to wine and dine someone or be wined and dined? It’s actually a really sad reason to stop dating and severely limits a single’s chances of finding the relationship of his or her desires. So in order to help professional singles experience a stress-free Valentine’s Day, we compiled a list of Valentine’s Day tips to help jump start the new dating season.

Tip #1: Love yourself. Who says that Valentine’s Day is reserved only for couples? Pretend it’s your birthday and do something nice for yourself instead of relying on someone else to bring you happiness. Get a massage or manicure if you’re a woman or go test drive a really fast car you’ve been eyeballing if you’re a man.

Tip #2: Ask someone out. The gentleman may think it’s corny, but 62% of women surveyed by It’s Just Lunch said they would gladly except a first date on Valentine’s Day. Even if you just met the day before, the probability of a woman accepting your same-day Valentine’s date invite shines in your favor. So it’s not too late to score a date!

Tip #3: Make it a date night. The perfect Valentine’s date is hands down dinner at a nice restaurant. But if you can’t get a reservation anywhere, the second most popular Valentine’s date activity is staying in and cooking dinner together. “Even though this may be a routine activity, there is no reason it can’t be special. Just put a unique twist on your meal,” says It’s Just Lunch dating specialist, Jennifer Foster. If you don't have a date lined up, how about showing your favorite single friend some love on Valentine's Day?

Tip #4: Say no to chocolate. When it comes to Valentine’s Day gift giving, most singles stay within a $50 to $100 budget and generally shy away from chocolate. Giving someone chocolate is seen as a last ditch effort without any forethought. The best Valentine’s Day gifts are the cliche flowers and card. Spa packages and jewelry also come in high demand. As for the gentleman, how about tickets to see their favorite sports team?

Tip #5: Be silly. “Valentine’s Day is, without a doubt, the cheesiest holiday of the year [...] based around love, hearts, sappy poems, flowers, and all that other delightfully gushy stuff,” says blogger Andrew Wang. “Quit running from this fact and just embrace it. Take any idea and mock it, make it ridiculous,” he says. “This is the time of year when silly really works in your favor.”

Tip #6: Go out and have fun. Don’t just sit at home if you don’t have a date. Half the people out that night are more than likely to be single too. So go out and have fun because the more fun you’re having the more attractive you appear. And the more attractive you come off as, the more likely you are to bump into someone who can be your sweet Valentine next year.

Notre Dame’s Manti Te’o Catfishing Sham Reminds Singles to Be Vigilant Daters

Unless you’ve been cooped up in your office with no access to public media, surely you have heard about how Notre Dame’s linebacker Manti Te’o got duped into a fake online relationship in what everyone is calling a “catfishing” sham. As it turns out, Lennay Kekua never died of leukemia nor did she ever exist outside of cyberspace.

What is Catfishing?

The term has arisen in the sports world in the wake of the Manti Te’o dead-girlfriend hoax, which quickly went viral once the truth was exposed. It’s a term that was coined by a 2010 documentary called “Catfish” following the pseudo relationship between 24-year-old Yaniv Shulman and bored housewife Angela Wesselman, who fabricated her identify as 19-year-old Megan Faccio using pictures of another woman by the name of Adriana Gonzales. After a quote from Wesselman’s husband, Vince Pierce, about catfish, the term became an expression for falsifying one’s persona to carry out a fake relationship without ever really meeting in person.

Simple Tips for Avoiding Fake Relationships

Make plans to meet. If someone doesn’t want to meet with you, always flakes at the last minute and is constantly making excuses why they can’t meet, then you should save your time and energy for someone who actually gives you the time of day in the flesh.

Set up a Skype date. If distance is factor, then your online date should have no problem conversing with you via Skype. It’s all too easy for someone to post a fake photo of themselves and lie via text or phone. Be wary of someone who refuses to Skype with you no matter how good their excuse might be.

Look for red flags. If it’s too good to be true, then it probably is. Common red flags to look for include stories that don’t add up, foreign origins, and overtly romantic comments expressing any kind of emotionally forwardness. Real love and chemistry happens in the flesh, and face to face.

Do your research. Become a fact-checker. Google their name. Look them on social media in case you share a mutual friend who can vouch for them. Verify their information to make sure stories add up. If it makes you feel comfortable, conduct a background search just as you would before hiring a new employee.

Have you ever been the victim of "catfishing"? Meet It's Just Lunch Matchmaker Stephanie Kluver who did a fantastic job representing our company in a FOX TV segment where she expressed how important it is to meet in person and face-to-face.

KMSP-TV

Do you think Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o was really drawn into a fake online relationship, or do you think it was a publicity stunt sportswriters bought into full-heartedly?

Are You In The Right Profession for Dating?

Can mixing business with pleasure lead to romantic opportunities? While some professional singles try to keep them separate, others can’t help but mix the two. In the latest It’s Just Lunch Survey, we asked more than 4,000 singles how they mix business and pleasure from their preferred first date activity to how much time they devote between work and play.The results revealed an interesting trend indicating the role reversals of men and women in their attitudes toward dating.

Did you know that 45% of women are more likely to talk about business or work-related topics than their male counterparts, fifty-five percent (55%) of which stray away from such discussions? Despite the fact that one quarter of the singles we surveyed prefer dating an entrepreneur or business owner, one interesting thing It’s Just Lunch discovered was that 26% of men had a higher preference for dating someone in the medical field, while 31% of women showed a higher preference for dating business executives. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it.

Women like talking about business so dating a business executive would be ideal. The problem for these women, however, is that most of these business executive types would rather talk about something completely unrelated to their profession, which makes dating someone in the medical field a much more attractive option. But men aren’t the only ones who prefer diversity in their relationships.

In fact, most of the singles we polled (69%) prefer dating someone in a different industry altogether. One possible reason for wanting to date someone outside your profession is to avoid competition or jealousy. When you run in the same professional circle, it’s hard not to bring work home with you. Besides, diversity is what makes relationships fun and exciting. It can also keep conversations from going dull.

The least desired professions to date included real estate, finance and law since professionals in those field are considered most likely to bring work home with them. Women especially have a hard time drawing the line between work and play while men seem to be hardwired with an easy on and off switch.

If you happen to be among the handful of people who have trouble making time for dating, then the best places to meet other professional singles are business networking events. You can kill two birds with one stone as you build meaningful relationships with potential business partners, clients and even romantic interests. While 39% of singles who attend networking events keep it strictly professional, there are still 21% of singles who attend for business and personal reasons. If even only two of you are there with a similar romantic ulterior motive, then you just might cross paths with your ideal match.

As far as first dates are concerned, most business-oriented singles prefer cocktails after work over coffee anytime. Perhaps it’s that dash of liquid courage that calms most first-date nerves, but then again perhaps the 22% of singles who preferred coffee simply don’t drink alcohol in favor of sobriety.

Regardless of what profession you’re in, no one wants to be or date a workaholic. The more you make time for dating, the more successful you’ll be at it in much the same way you’ve become successful in your current profession with all the time you’ve made prioritizing your career over love. It’s time you started rewarding yourself for all your hard work by inviting the relationship and love you seek to enhance the quality of the life you’ve built for yourself.

So are you in the right profession for dating? Maybe, maybe not, but as long as you have a job, have your own life outside of a relationship, and don’t mind driving the next town over for a date, the odds are still in your favor.