We can get a fabulous dinner easily enough...thank you Open Table®. We can pick out the perfect car and get a great deal...thank you promotion at work. We even can get new living room furniture WITHOUT leaving the living room.
So, in this day and age of convenience and in a time in our lives when things are running just fine, why is it so hard to get a date?
The problem certainly isn’t that there AREN’T any potentials out there. We see plenty of attractive, well-dressed, successful looking individuals out there. So why don’t we get to meet them? The folks that we really want to meet that is, not the guy who still lives at home with his mom, or your friend’s trainer from the gym who is “really hot”.
Now, more than ever it can be more difficult for successful people, particularly successful women, to find dates who measure up to their expectations.
So how do we solve this dilemma? Well, at It’s Just Lunch®, we’ve known how important it is to match our successful clients with quality individuals for more than 20 years. The secret of our success lies in knowing that creating lasting relationships is based on a date with someone who you really want to date again. So, let us set you up on a great date. All you have to do is just show up and enjoy. Mission accomplished.
There sure is a lot of buzzing about online dating these days. The water-cooler which was once a glorious place to waste a few minutes of a very long day is now ruined with profile speak. Heck, you can’t even peacefully grind your teeth in the 10 items or less line without being subjected to a fascinating conversation about choosing the right “user name”.
According to the commercials, featuring the most attractive people (models), with the whitest teeth you’ve ever seen (caps), there’s a hot model with perfect gums that practices your exact religion, subscribes to your favorite reading materials (Wow! They read too!), and is just waiting for you to jump online and find them. And if for some reason, you two don’t hit it off, there are 100 more just like them.
So does all this dental work live up to its promise? Are people really falling in love left and right like an episode of the Love Boat on ecstasy?
According to a recent study*, what online dating has accomplished is a platform where “romantic browsing triggers” happen. Instead of considering a potential partner on specific characteristics that would align with your true ideals, speedy decisions are made, based upon finding, “the best” profile, which of course includes a picture. This study found that when folks were faced with many profiles (up to 90), they made faster decisions, and wrote potentials off quicker, instead of weighing important information. These hasty decisions demonstrated that people forgot what they were really looking for in a mate. In contrast, those who had to select from say four people, considered real options, and complex information for a potential partner. This same study also found that going on a REAL date was more productive in truly getting to know someone, than just online chatting.
The morale of the study? Take time to smell the rose. Focusing on what you want, going out on a date, and then deciding what comes next. We at It’s Just Lunch® are proud of our 20 years of dating success stories. No user names, no photos, ...ever. Just lunch with someone specifically matched to your interests and values.
*Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P. W., Karney, B. R., Reis, H. T., & Sprecher, S. (2012). Online dating: A critical analysis from the perspective of psychological science. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 13(1), 3–66.
One of the many things that sets It's Just Lunch apart from the competition is the strength and experience of our matchmakers. Recently, we reached out to longtime IJL Columbus matchmaker, Pamela Lanier to see if she could share some quick tips with us.
1) What's your best dating tip?
My best dating tip is to ask questions. This makes the other person feel important. Also, you'll find out what your date's interests are and see if you can have fun together. IF YOU DON'T PLAY TOGETHER, YOU WON'T STAY TOGETHER.
2) What are men looking for?
Men are interested in the visual first. It's how they're made.
3) What are women looking for?
Women are interested in the whole package. A woman can meet a man who may not look exactly like what she thought her special someone would look like, but after she sits across from him for an hour and hears what's in his heart he automatically becomes soooooo handsome.
4) How many serious relationships have you started? Any marriages?
I've been doing this for over 33 years so I've lost count of how many relationships and marriages there are. They call me about their kids now.
5) What's your favorite client story?
There was a woman with young twins. She was struggling to meet a good guy, and had actually had men get up and leave the table on dates when she told them about her kids. I told her, 'No problem', because the men I match you with will know in advance about the twins and they will only be men who love kids. She went on her first few dates and had fun. Then I matched her with Todd. They hit it off immediately. He'd also been left to raise a young child on his own. As an executive for a major company here in Columbus, I knew he was busy but still made time for his son. They married two years later and she still calls me every year to say thanks.
6) What's the best place in Columbus for a first date?
The best place in Columbus for a first date is the Short North. You have any kind of restaurant and food you want. You have galleries and shops, and you can finish off your date at one of the famous ice cream or coffee shops in the area.
7) Why should singles call IJL?
Singles should call IJL because we are great at what we do.