Sex

Valentine's Day: Advice on Gifts and Date Planning

454931603Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you probably downplay Valentine’s Day when asked how you feel about the holiday – at least publicly. No one wants to be that person who embraces a holiday created by the greeting card and candy companies.

As it turns out, Valentine’s Day brings out the hypocrite in us all. In a survey by It’s Just Lunch, the premiere dating service for busy professionals, nearly one-third of both men and women surveyed said they feel “indifferent” about Valentine’s Day, with another 13 percent saying it makes them “miserable” or “dreadful.” Yet, over 70 percent of those same men and women expect to spend Valentine’s Day with someone if they’ve been on four or more dates.

So, let’s face it – you’re probably going to need to acknowledge Valentine’s Day if you’ve been on more than a few dates with someone. Are you feeling that misery and dread now as you worry about making plans and buying a gift? Don’t worry. It’s Just Lunch has you covered with the results of the rest of their survey:

The date

Men and women both overwhelming agreed on their top date choices: dinner at a restaurant with some significance in your relationship or a weekend getaway.

Haven’t been together long enough for those options? The men leaned toward wanting to go to a fancy dinner while the women were more likely to want to have something cooked for them at home.

It’s Just Lunch spokesperson Irene LaCota says split the difference, “Go out for a fancy dinner and then come home to make dessert together where you can kick off your shoes, relax and enjoy each other’s company.”

The gift

People may be indifferent, but they still want a gift. Only 17 percent of men and 6 percent of women said they wanted nothing for Valentine’s Day. Of course, the gift should be commensurate with your relationship length. If you’ve been dating less than a month, 59 percent of men and 49 percent of women say they don’t expect a gift. However, if you’ve been dating one to three months, those percentages dropped by approximately half.

“Play it safe if it’s your first Valentine’s Day together,” advised LaCota. “If you’ve been on at least a few dates together, make plans together sometime over Valentine’s weekend and invest in at least a card and a small gift.”

For the ladies, flowers are always a popular choice. The folks at It’s Just Lunch wondered, however, if the iconic red roses were seen as generic and devoid of thought and attention. As it turns out, the ladies love them! Fifty-seven percent of women said they love red roses, with only 16 percent thinking they were generic.

And where should you send these flowers? You might think she wants the attention and jealous glares of the other ladies in the office when her bouquet arrives, but 57 percent of women want their flowers delivered in person by you. Only 20 percent want their flowers delivered to the office.

Jewelry and plans for a future activity you can do together followed on the women’s wish list.

For the men, a card and a weekend getaway topped their gift wish list . . . right behind one other thing that might not surprise you: sex. Fifty percent of the men chose sex as one of the top three things they were hoping for this Valentine’s Day, while just 22 percent of the women said the same.

If your relationship isn’t at the weekend getaway or romping between the sheets stage, buy him a bottle of something you’ve seen him order, like a bottle of red wine or a small bottle of whiskey. Don’t know him well enough yet to pick out something personal? Consider a virtual gift, such as an iTunes gift card. A third of men said they’d be happy to receive a virtual gift because it would be something they could actually use.

Source:   It’s Just Lunch 2015 survey of approximately 1,000 singles


Fireworks

To_catch_a_thief-green

Everybody Loves Fireworks. 

The Fourth of July wouldn’t be the same without them. It would just be any other day off from work, sweating it out in the backyard with friends, celebrating a break-up with England. But even better than holiday Fireworks?

Dating Fireworks. 

Now those are exciting; pounding heart, butterflies colliding, passionate and romantic dates that last hours, maybe even days....sigh.

 The problem is, after the Dating Honeymoon winds down, and you’re in a relationship, how do you keep that excitement and intensity going? 

Lesson one, according to Psychology Today*, is that fireworks need two specific kinds of fuel...Fantasy and Seduction. By carefully using both of these elements, you can prevent the fizzling, and create lasting passion.

Setting the Stage 

Couples therapist Laurie Watson LMFT, LPC  talks about this in her recent article, "Fireworks in the Bedroom". She believes that there can be a disconnect for men and women between the physical aspect, focused on by men, and the seductive tension that builds up the fantasy of sex, that is needed by women.

So, how do you accomplish this men? Simple. By being verbally and physically attentive...compliments, smiling from across the room, embracing her around the waist, whispering how much you want her in her ear, letting her know how special she is, etc.  For women, these verbal and physical behaviors create the necessary fantasy about what’s going to be happening later. 

Now, add in some candles, some music, and you’re ready to enjoy those relationship fireworks any night of the week! 

 

*http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/married-and-still-doing-it/201207/fireworks-in-the-bedroom