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February 2010

Soulmate Search Stalled? Matchmaker Has Advice

Soulmate Search Stalled? Matchmaker Has Advice

A mistake many people make when they're looking for someone to date is that they don't first take a good look at themselves.

Kailen Rosenburg, a relationship counselor and matchmaker in the Twin Cities for many years, stands by the belief that if you're not emotionally healthy, you'll have hard time finding someone who is right for you.

"Check in with yourself, make sure you like yourself, that you know what you want in a partner and how you see your roles playing out," she said. "Then check in with your friends and family and say, 'This is how myself. Is this what you see too? Do I have an accurate picture of myself?'"

Kailen said it's crucial to first make an assessment of your own personal matters because it's no good trying to unite two "broken people" together, as she put it.

That said, even if you do have it all together, it can still be difficult to meet someone. But if you're willing to spend some money, you can hire a professional matchmaker to help you.

The matchmakers at meet with clients face-to-face, have them fill out a questionnaire and then try to match them up. They schedule a lunch date for you at a restaurant.

Stephanie Kluver, a matchmaker at the Minneapolis office, has many success stories to tell.

"We don't do dinner. We want it to be casual and low pressure. We want you to sit down and have a drink or lunch and have there be a short time to see if there is chemistry," she said.

After each lunch date, the matchmakers contact their clients to see how the date went. That debriefing helps them determine what it is clients are really looking for. They say people request a second date about 80 percent of the time.

Kluver said most of her clients simply don't have time to get out and socialize, which is why they come to them for help.

"I think people are at work, in front of a computer, and they are not meeting other great singles. They are not meeting other great people who are a match for them," she said.

The membership prices for It's Just Lunch are on the high end -- $1,800 for six months, $2,200 for a year. But if you join before Valentine's Day, you can get one month free of charge.

There are several locations in the Twin Cities and many more nationwide. And there are more than a dozen other matchmaking services in Minnesota, as well



Got Game? New Singles Survey Reveals Dating Game Plan for Super Bowl Sunday

In case you’ve been hiding under a rock, the Super Bowl is in town.  A long-anticipated day, filled with camaraderie, passion, competition, celebration, and occasionally disappointment. This might not sound like the ideal setting for a romantic meet-up, but if you have successfully drafted a date for the big event, some pre-game advice is at hand to help get in the end zone, avoid embarrassing fumbles, and score the ultimate touchdown.

It’s Just Lunch (IJL), the premier international dating service for busy professionals, announces the results of their Super Bowl Sunday Survey providing insight in to men’s and women’s psyche, and expert tips for how to have a successful Super Bowl date… just in time. 

· 58% of singles say that they would bring a first date to a Super Bowl party, so you stand in good company.  If you haven’t booked that date yet, get to it.

· Among singles, loyalty is key.  74% of men and 82% of women stated that they will root against their date’s team at the Super Bowl party. This means you need to be ready for some competition in the room, not just on the screen. Our advice? Let your date know in advance that your emotions can run high, but that you know it’s just a game.

· Room etiquette – gabbing on the sidelines is fine, but when you are in front of the screen, all singles (men and women) are serious about the big game.

o   If their date was talking during the game, 52% of singles would quickly talk to their date, but would want to turn all conversation back to football.

o   And if the talk continues? 8% of all singles would never ask their date out again, while 31% of men would ask them out again, but never to a sporting event.

o   17% of women would ask their date to “be quiet” so they could focus on the game, and interestingly, only 9% of men would quiet their dates. So if you do get “shushed,” with these statistics, chances are you are talking too much and should get back to (playing) the game.

· Food is King – On Super Bowl Sunday, it looks like calories don’t count.  65% of men and 72% of women won’t stick to their diets during the big game; instead they will be filling up on game food. Of course, we recommend keeping this in control, as most singles aren’t looking for a wide receiver.

· Game predictions—60% of single men surveyed think the Indianapolis Colts will win the Super Bowl, while 55% of women think the Saints will win. The Saints came out on top by both men and women for having the best looking cheerleaders (55%) and players (52%) as well as having the better looking uniforms (60%). The takeaway: Looks matter and so do the get-ups. Dress to impress and try to avoid any unexpected wardrobe malfunctions.

· And if certain players were in the room? 67% of single women and 70% of single men surveyed they would rather meet Peyton Manning of the Colts for lunch rather than Drew Brees of the Saints. 

· If your date holds tickets to the actual game? Men, don’t get your hopes up—only 37% of women would invite a date to the big game. Rather, 50% of women would prefer to have their best friend join them. Surprisingly, on the other hand, only 46% of men would prefer to bring a date rather than their best friend to the actual game. So much for bromance.

· When INVITED, 70% of men and 68% of women would accept a date with someone they weren’t crazy about, just to go to the Super Bowl – looks like everyone wants to be in Miami for the big game so don’t be fooled.  The true test will be if you score a second date.

You know the rules: now take the ball and run with it.  But please, no Super Bowl shuffle.

About It’s Just Lunch

It's Just Lunch is a specialized dating service for busy singles.  IJL’s first date specialists save singles from the frustration of having to search through seas of online profiles, or play endless e-mail tag.  The company, which has arranged over a million first dates in the past 18 years, handles everything in a personalized and efficient manner – from finding the right matches to making all the arrangements for lunch, brunch or after-work drinks.  It's Just Lunch was founded in 1991 and has grown to service over 150 cities within the U.S. and internationally, and has many wonderful success stories.  For more information, please visit


Click Here to take our latest survey and to see how you compare to other singles when it comes to Valentine's Day!