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February 2011

Conversation Tips: Things to Talk About this Weekend

There's been no shortage of BIG stories in the news this week. With so many tumultuous topics, it can be hard to know what's safe to talk about on a first date.  

There are no wrong or right answers, but in general, it's best to stay away from topics that could turn into heated arguments. With that in mind, here are a few things that might make for interesting conversation on your date this weekend.

  • The Oscars are just a few days away. Have you seen many of the nominated movies? Are you planning to watch?
  • It's amazing and frightening to watch what's happening in Libya.
  • Charlie Sheen is all over the papers and online.  Should anyone care about what he says?
  • Sad how little attention has been paid to the earthquake in NZ.

Chemistry and Relationships

1105969_63159092 Chemistry.

When asked what they're looking for in a partner, most people eventually bring up chemistry.  But what is chemistry?  And why does it matter so much?

Let's skip the academics and go with a simple working definition. Chemistry is that strong feeling you get that says, "I want to see this person again," and/or "I want to spend time with this person."  

That second part is important, because it deflates a myth. There are some people, many people, who believe that chemistry must be there from the start. In fact, you'll hear people say they know with 100% certainty whether or not they click with someone on the first date.

But relationship research doesn't bear this out. Recent surveys show that as many as 35% of singles have at some time fallen in love with someone they did not initially find attractive/have chemistry with.  

What does this mean to you, as a single person?  Well, there are a lot of people out there who've fallen in love with someone on the second, third, fourth...  dates after they've gotten to know them better and found commonalities and started to share more personal information/gotten more comfortable with one another.  

In the end, you can't do much to force chemistry. But you can have patience and allow it to grow. It might not. But it can. 

Conversation Tips: Things to Talk About this Weekend

Don't get stuck with awkward silence on your date this weekend. Here are a few easy topics, grabbed from the news, to chat about if the conversation goes cold. 

Remember to ask questions, and be prepared to listen and ask follow up questions. 

The Perfect Goodbye: How to End a First Date

Dating can be stressful. That's a given. You worry about what to wear, what to say, what not to say... And then, there's that uncomfortable moment at the end of the date.

Many a good date has gone suddenly wrong in those last few seconds. Perfectly nice people freeze up, freak out and for some strange reason say and do completely inappropriate things at the ends of dates.  

Here are some simple, common-sense recommendations from one of our It's Just Lunch Matchmakers so that you can avoid those uncomfortable moments and have a perfect (or, at the very least, good) goodbye at the end of your next date.

  • Remember these words, "It was nice meeting you." If it was an awkward date and you're not interested in seeing the person again, "It was nice meeting you," is a graceful way to end your conversation.
  • If you want to see the person again, let them know.  You can do this by exchanging business cards, phone numbers, etc... 
  • It you don't want to see the person again, don't say, "Let's do this again, sometime," or something similar.
  • Don't lead someone on.  And please do not agree to another date and then avoid the person's phone calls.  
  • Keep it light. Leave something for the next date.
  • Remember that sometimes it takes more than one date to determine if you have chemistry. So, keep an open mind and think about seeing this person again. 

    New research shows men are more romantic than women though their behavior on Valentine’s Day suggests otherwise.

    If men get a bad rap for lacking romance and imagination on Valentine’s Day, it’s not because they shy away from Cupid by nature, an It’s Just Lunch 2011 Dating Trends survey suggests. Asked about their No. 1 priority in 2011, 42 percent of male respondents said finding a compatible mate tops their list. That’s significantly higher than the percentage who ranked career as their top priority, suggesting men might work at least as hard building relationships as they do building résumés.  Though men seek compatible matches and are open to love, they seem to think Cupid will do all the work. Nearly 35 percent said they spend zero hours per week — or no time whatsoever — looking for dates, according to the online survey by It’s Just Lunch, a matchmaking service for busy professionals.

    What’s more, men are more likely this time of year to avoid relationships and dating altogether because of pressures brought on by Valentine’s Day, the survey revealed. A third of single men said they avoid being coupled between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day, perhaps because of perceived threats to their egos and wallets. That’s too bad because women’s expectations are neither high nor mysterious. “Women do attach significance to Valentine’s Day, but that shouldn’t strike fear into the hearts of men,” says It’s Just Lunch spokesperson, Irene LaCota. Dinner at a nice restaurant makes for the perfect date on Valentine’s Day for 47 percent of women surveyed, and 40 percent would prefer making dinner together at home. As for gifts, over a third consider flowers and a card the best tokens of affection, followed by a spa package (29 percent) and jewelry (27 percent).  Forty percent of women do not expect a gift unless she and her guy are in a committed relationship; however, a full 40 percent do expect a gift after three months of dating. After just two weeks, only 4 percent expect to receive something, according to IJL data.  Looks like single women don’t require as much as men tend to think in order to feel special.