Based on our last survey questions on sex, it’s interesting to ponder this question: what comes first, sex or love? There’s no doubt among your friends and family, two people met, fell right in love, and have lived happily ever after. It’s certainly a romantic ideal, but does it hold up in the 21st century?
Believe it or not, almost 75% of men say love at first sight still exists. Women are a little more skeptical, but a healthy 63% believe the same thing. Those romantic ideals translate when it comes to a question about marriage, with 56% of both men and women saying that tying the knot isn’t as important as it used to be.
Many men and women enter a first date looking to find that immediate connection. While it’s important to set expectations for yourself, it’s also nice to let loose and relax in the feeling that going out on a date is supposed to be fun. In order to do that, suspend your expectations and live in the moment on a date. You’ll find that by doing so, you’ll have more fun, exude confidence, and appear all the more attractive to that person sitting across from you.
But what if you do click with your date? And by click, we mean chemistry, attraction, and connectedness seem to be firing on all cylinders between you and your date. Ok, so you certainly don’t have to worry about rejection; because what may be on your mind is sex.
Of course, sex is a tricky thing. Everyone wants it, but many people are hesitant to go for it on a first date even if all signs point to yes. Do women put off sex because they’re worried about being judged? Will a man judge a woman if they sleep together on the first date? According to our results, almost 60% of women avoid sex on the first date because they are worried about what a guy will think, and almost 80% of women think a guy will, in fact, draw conclusions about a woman if they end up sleeping together on a first date. A little more than half of men surveyed believe women put off sex because of judgments, but a little less than half of men would judge a woman if they slept together on the first date.
Clearly, there’s some miscommunication going on between both sexes when it comes to sex. What is clear is that you should be comfortable with who you are. Sure it sounds clichéd, but if you happen to be more sexual than your date and you are getting judged for that, then it probably isn’t meant to be. Also, if you are the type of person who holds off until you get to know someone better, then that is equally powerful in itself. Ultimately, dating is about being confident and finding chemistry with a partner. If any egregious judgments are passed throughout the course of a night that’s supposed to be fun, then you might be better off with someone else.
Take a moment and think back ten years ago to 2001. While cell phones were starting to skyrocket in popularity, not many people had the ability to check email or text on a minute-by-minute basis. That’s how far we’ve come in terms of interconnectivity. In fact, the term “hyper-connectivity” tells a lot about our personal lives, and that includes dating. Bottom line: times have changed and our lastest It’s Just Lunch dating myth survey results speak to just that.
Make the Call
Even though as a society we’re hyper-connected, ironically, it’s also easier to avoid direct contact. Whether it’s email, text, Facebook, or even through a tricky iPhone app, you don’t have to necessarily see someone you don’t want to see. However, just because we’ve outsourced our communication to gadgets, doesn’t mean we have to set aside politeness. Only 15% of both men and women said they would check email if they were bored on a date or didn’t feel like their date was a match. Even more telling was how men and women deal with rejection. About one in three women would text or email a person to turn them down. Men seemed more likely to call, with one in four preferring a phone call as opposed to a text or email.