Notice how we said "singles" because chivalry isn't just for men, it's for women too. We may be a tad late with this post considering National Courtesy Month is drawing to a close, but that doesn't mean common courtesy should only be exercised during the month of September. Courtesy should be extended every month of the year and with every date you encounter. It's actually kind of sad that we have to dedicate a whole month to an act every single should already be doing as professionals. Since the whole concept of chivalry is rather sexist, placing the sole responsibility of chivalry on the man, It's Just Lunch wanted to take a moment to share a few tips on how both men and women can be more chivalrous to one another, especially in light of technology changing the way we date.
Chivalry for Men
1. Pick up the phone and call her. Gone are the days when the original knights in shining armor would request an opportunity to court a woman by way of a messenger. A woman wants a man who will make an effort and go the extra mile. Today, that extra mile is the difference between a date invite via text and a date invite via phone call.
2. Meet her more than half way. It's the gentlemanly thing to do to meet a woman some place where she feels safe and comfortable, especially when meeting for the first time or do. If you want to build good rapport and chemistry with a woman, to key is making her feel comfortable being with you. The best way to make a woman feel comfortable around you is to hang out in a setting that is most familair to her.
3. Hold the door open for her. It may be cliche, but roughly 90% of women surveyed by AskMen.com agreed that the most chivalrous act a man can do is holding the door open for a woman. It's a sign of respect that ultimately reflects on you, especially when she notices that you don't just do it for her, you do it for others as well. A truly chivalrous man extends that chivalry to everyone he crosses paths with.
Chivalry for Women
1. Steer clear of mind games. When a man calls you, don't wait three rings to answer the phone or let it ring to voice mail first before waiting an hour to call back. If you're free, you're free. If you're not, you're not. Life is too short to be playing senseless games with the opposite sex. If you're among those always complaining about how men always text and never call, there's a pretty good chance it's because you never answer your phone or return his phone calls. Sure, men enjoy a little bit of a chase, but playing minds games like being unavailable when you're really available is taking it too far. Show him a little bit more respect by appreciating his valiant efforts to woo you.
2. Give him permission to lead. Yes, women absolutely hate it when a man asks a woman out on a date and it turns into a game of 20 questions trying to figure out logistics. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? What time should we meet? In age of feminism, men are treading on thin ice to make sure they don't disrespect your independence and self-sufficiency. Throw him a bone and give him permission to take the reigns if that is what you want him to do, especially if you're tired of holding on the reigns of your daily life. If you want him to plan the date so you don't have to, ask him to surprise you or give him your preferences so he can take charge. If you don't care where you go, as long as he is willing to pick you up, say that. Sometimes, all a man needs is a green light to get him going.
3. Offer to pay your way. While this is a topic that is always up for debate, the general consensus is that men should at least pay for the first date. Most professional men usually do insist on picking up the tab, but the way a woman dances around the check can be very revealing. If you excuse yourself to the bathroom as the check is being dropped, it may reflect on your poorly and illustrates a sense of entitlement even. However, if you offer to split the tab before excusing yourself to the bathroom, then it shows that you are a considerate person. There is another consensus that who ever does the asking does the paying. Even if that applies, the same principles still applies regarding how a person dances around the check.
Chivalry isn't just for men. It's for women too. At the end of the day, chilvary is centered around mutual respect for a person's time, energy and resources.