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April 2014

Why You Should Date Someone Outside Your Industry

Event10504Do you or someone you know base your dating preferences on a person's profession or career? If you've ever wondered what it would be like to date professionals within your field or outside your industry, then this is the blog post for you to help you decide whether it's a good idea or not to date someone within your professional network versus someone outside your network altogether. After polling more than 4,000 singles, It's Just Lunch discovered that nearly 70% of professional singles preferred dating someone outside their industry completely rather than dating someone in a similar profession or position as themselves (10%), or someone with different position but in a similar line of work (10%), or someone in the same industry regardless of title or profession (10%). In today's blog post, It's Just Lunch is going highlight some of the pros and cons that come with dating a fellow professional single who works in the same field as you versus someone works in an entirely different field.

Dating someone who shares a career similar to yours can be a lot of fun. It can bring the two of you together in an intimately close way that wouldn’t be possible had you been working in completely different fields. You share the same frustrations, the same work woes and you might even have quite a few colleagues in common. Dating someone who works in a very different field than your own can also be just as exhilarating, giving you a glimpse into a whole new world outside your realm had it not been for your relationship with a special someone in that particular field. A real estate agent dating someone in law enforcement is going to see that profession in a whole new light just like a marketing executive dating someone in the medical field is going to see health field from a very unique perspective. From this perspective, you’d feel like as an outsider looking in, but through the lens of an insider. While it might seem counter intuitive to limit your dating options to a single profession, both of these wonderful routes to take with your future relationship come with their own sets of drawbacks despite all the pros.

While dating someone with a similar career path sounds ideal since you’ll most likely have plenty in common, the novelty of it all may wear out sooner rather than later if you don’t have anything else in common besides your job. Dating someone in the same field can lead to unhealthy competition, especially if even just one of you is the really competitive type. You might find yourselves in a secret contest over who can outdo each other or get promoted faster within their respective organization. This can ultimately lead to heated arguments based from feelings of insecurity and unchecked resentment.

Dating someone completely outside of your field of expertise and even outside your industry may sound particularly appealing, especially if you’re looking to spice up your life with a little romance. Dating someone in a different industry can bring fresh and new conversation to the table, creating a more interesting and stimulating dialogue. While sharing different careers can make things exciting, it can also be hard to understand where your partner is coming from at times, especially when you know so little about her field of work making it all the more challenging to relate to her and help her with frustrations at work. This can create a lot of misunderstandings if neither party feels comfortable communicating their needs to each other.

Despite the fact that more than 2,800 singles agreed they’d prefer dating someone in a completely different industry than themselves, every relationship comes with its own unique set of challenges relative to the two people in a relationship together. There will always be pros and cons no matter you decided to date. The key takeaway here is that any relationship can work with if you have the ability to empathize with your partner and put yourself in their shoes, even if only for a moment in time. The more you communicate how you really feel about this here or that there to your partner, the easier it will become to understand where each of you are coming from during moments of potential or actual conflict.

your partner shares your career, that is great. Have fun sharing this part of your lives together and helping one another out, and don’t let it turn into a competition of who is better or more successful. If your partner does not happen to share your career, that is equally great too. Use this as a way to get to know your partner even better.

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Finding Balance Between Love & Career

Balance love and careerWhen it comes to love and career, it’s all too easy to prioritize one over the other. In both case scenarios, failure to strike a balance between the two could result in putting your relationship or your job at jeopardy. When you spend most of your time and energy into your relationship, it could very possibly hinder your productivity at work. Similarly, putting your career first could result in your partner feeling like chopped liver. Lucky for you, It's Just Lunch has some great advice for helping professional singles balance between their personal and professional life so they can achieve success in both.

If it’s not on your schedule, it’s never going to happen.

If you’re like most professional singles, you may have forgotten what it means to have personal time because you’ve dedicated any free time you do get to growing your career or business. The lines may have even started blurring if your social life revolves around work like it does for most professionals who spend most of their waking days with clients, colleagues and associates. But it’s important to block out time for each area of your life you’d like to see improvement. Just like you need to put time in at the gym to stay in shape, you have to put in the time to dating if you have any shot at meeting worthy of your time and affections. Make a commitment to yourself to create opportunities for yourself where you’re most likely to meet the kind of people you want to be meeting. This could mean attend weekly networking events or maybe even joining a book club.

Leave work in the office where it belongs.

This tip works hand in hand with the first tip. For the most part, work can and should only be done at work. If there is a deadline that must be reached tomorrow, and the work was pushed aside until now, then finish it. However, also reconsider some of your work habits because it is no one’s fault but your own if you fall behind on your deadlines. Maximize your time at work so you can maximize your time outside of work for a more fulfilling personal life. Try not to let your work become your life as it can often times be a total turn off and make you seem boring to your date, even if you’re really a fun and adventurous person outside of work.

Shift your priorities in favor of activities that better serve you.

Going to the gym to stay fit is an activity worth keeping on your calendar. Spending time with your closest friends is also important since relationships, in all its forms, make the world go round. However, wasting time binge-watching TV shows, or only hanging out with a small clique of friends is not okay. There are many activities that waste time and energy, and these are among some that should be removed. Analyze how you’re really spending your time and make the changes needed so you can get more focused on your relationship goals.

Be as objective with dating as you are with business.

Too many singles are using work as an excuse for not dating. If that’s the case, then you have no right to complain about your love life if you aren’t doing anything to change it or make it better. Studies have consistently shown that most people assume they don’t have time because of prior arrangements, but when time is truly broken down, the people who say, “I have too much work to do,” typically spend a majority of their time procrastinating instead. Stop making excuses for yourself and become as objective with your personal life as your are with business. Set yourself a goal of meeting at least one new person every week, much like you might set a goal for yourself at work of closing one deal every week and take the actions steps you need to reach your weekly goals.

In summary, finding balance between love and career is all about segmenting your time, and taking the right actions during time dedicated to improving your personal and professional life. Everyone has their own schedule, but everyone has more free time at their disposal than they realize. 

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5 Tips for Hurdling Past First Date Awkwardness

Google glass blind dating

A new dating app made for Google Glass made such a splash on the market that it’s now shifted directions from “Sex with Glass” to “Glance” within the span of a few months after news of the iPhone app went viral. Glance gives one the ability to see what their partner can see and watch from numerous angles while having sex. The idea behind Glance is an evolving one for its founders, giving users the opportunity to capture and view two different perspectives side by side and change the way they experience something as personal as sex… or perhaps as awkward as a first date if you were to ask a matchmaker. 

As matchmakers and dating specialists, we couldn’t help but wonder about the implications this kind of technology might have for singles. What would it be like using this app while blind dating? Would it make the date more or less awkward? What if singles starting using it as a feedback tool for becoming better at dating? We may not have all the answers to these questions since this app is still pretty new and still finding its place in the market, but what the professional matchmakers at It’s Just Lunch do have is some amazing insight on the most common dating blunders every single secretly hopes goes unnoticed during a first date.

5 Things You Secretly Hope Your Date Won’t Notice

Ask any matchmaker and she’ll tell you that almost every single she works gets incredibly nervous right before a first date. Most singles secretly hope that their date won’t pick up on how awkward or nervous they feel on the date. Know that it’s completely normal and that chances are your date is just as nervous as you, if not more. Accept this as reality and realize that it’s only awkward for the first few minutes until you get more acquainted. Sometimes, people need a few minutes to warm up to new people, especially if they are the shy or introverted type. Let’s face it, meeting and trying to get to know someone for the first time is not an easy thing. With or without the help of technology, nobody wants their date noticing how nervous they might be during the date.

Another thing singles secretly hope their date won’t ever notice is how over-prepared for they might be for their date. Some professionals make the mistake of preparing too much for a blind date. This is especially the case for professional singles with a tendency to do an online search of their date before meeting them in person. These singles rehearse exactly what they want to talk about or how they are going to say certain things, and sometimes it can come off as sounding fake and over-prepared. It is okay to have a few talking points in mind you want to talk about or ask your date, but it’s not okay to sound like you’re reading from a script. If you really want to prepare for your date, make sure to confirm your date plans in advance in case there’s an unforeseen scheduling conflict and refrain from Googling your date’s name, phone number or email address in search of talking points. Instead, ask your matchmaker about your date’s interests and browse local or national headlines for current event topics you can piggyback off of for value-added dating conversations.  

Have you ever been tempted to cancel a date when a huge pimple shows up on your face the morning of a first date? Or spilled coffee on your shirt during lunch with no change of clothes or time to go home before a date? Whether it’s these minor flaws like these, an uncomfortable outfit or a bad hair day, many singles quickly become self-conscious about what they look like to their dates. While many singles would be mortified if they could see what their dates sees when they look at them, our matchmakers are here to tell you that your date will probably not notice because they’re too focused on how they are being perceived by you. In fact, you might even be surprised over what your date notices about you that you might not even be aware of at all. Matchmakers warn singles to avoid drawing attention to their flaws as it will only magnify them for the date who wouldn’t have noticed at all until you pointed it out or brought it up.

Manners, or dating etiquette, is another concern that many matchmakers hear from lots of professional singles, particularly among the women with regards to the way men present themselves. Many people get so used to eating comfortably in their home or around their close friends and family, it slips their mind that their date is probably watching their every move. They forget to eat or act properly in front of people they do not know. Singles would be mortified to watch themselves shove food into their mouths in front of their blind date because they weren’t mindful of basic manners. If you really want to show how classy you are at dinner, go to YouTube, type “dining etiquette” in the search bar and watch a few of the videos that come up for tips on how to present yourself. This will not only be good for you on a date, but it will also be good to know just in case you have a big meeting with a high-profile client or very important person within your company or industry.

Do you have a tendency to fidget under pressure or when you’re feeling awkward or don’t know what to do with your hands? Well, you aren’t the only one. It’s actually very common. Many singles tend to fidget during a blind date if they feel uncomfortable. They wouldn’t want to see what their date could see if their hands were shaking, playing with their hair or biting their nails out of nervousness. Fidgeting is a sign that one is not relaxed and possibly wants to leave that date as soon as possible. Being uncomfortable during a blind date can be a hard thing to hide and many would be horrified to watch themselves fidget away in front of their date. Try to relax the best you can and be aware of your body language. When you catch yourself fidgeting, trying pinching yourself as a signal to the rest of your body to cut it out.

Want more dating tips, advice and insight? Follow It’s Just Lunch on Facebook and on LinkedIn where we do our best to uphold the traditional values of old-fashioned dating and help professional singles meet people in person instead of online.

3 Quick & Easy Flirting Tips Professional Singles Can Use For Maximum Success

Flirting couple
The biggest dilemma almost every professional matchmaker encounters with clients is professional singles who feel like they don’t know how to flirt. This is especially the case with singles who have recently divorced and are just getting back into the dating scene. It’s also the case with singles in managerial roles where flirting can be misconstrued as interest or favoritism, so they end up avoiding it all together and may have forgotten how to do it in settings when it’s actually okay to flirt.

It seems like these singles and others like them view flirting in such a narrow capacity that it almost hinders their inherent ability to do it. In fact, they do it everyday at work and don’t even recognize it as a form of flirting; they think they're just being friendly, which of course they are. After all, there is definitely an element of friendliness that’s assumed when people flirt.

Flirting is simply a lighthearted interaction between two people as if they are attracted to each other, though attraction is by no means a prerequisite for flirting. In most cases, people flirt to express romantic interest in someone or to reciprocate such interest. In many other cases, people do it for for fun, to make someone smile or to give themselves an ego boost perhaps. However, flirting can also be used as a great relationship building tool in more professional settings when used strategically.

The matchmakers at It’s Just Lunch have a few flirtings tips you can practice on virtually anyone so that it comes more second-nature to you when you’re on a real date with someone you actually like.

Flirting Tip #1: Compliments can go a long ways.

Rarely does a compliment ever go unappreciated, especially when it’s perceived by the person receiving the compliment as genuine and sincere. A compliment is nothing more than saying a few polite words to someone offering up praise or admiration. For example, if someone in your office recently received a promotion, don’t be afraid to congratulate them by saying something nice about why they deserved it. Try to steer clear of compliments revolving around physical appearance if you want to play it safe and avoid giving someone at work the wrong impression. The great thing about compliments is that they tend to make people like you more, which makes work a lot more pleasant than working with people that don’t like you at all. People like being around other people who make them feel good about themselves.

Flirting Tip #2: Humor is your best friend.

Who doesn’t enjoy a good laugh from time to time? The great thing about humor is that it can be used to ease tension in the workplace or make someone feel more comfortable or at ease during an important business meeting with a top-level executive. Besides, people tend to have a natural liking towards someone who can make them laugh. However, be careful not to cross the line with anything potentially inappropriate. Try to keep any jokes you share clean and friendly with one good rule of thumb in mind: If it’s a joke you wouldn’t tell to your boss, your mother, or a complete stranger, then you probably shouldn’t tell it, least of all to someone you’re interested in dating.

Flirting Tip #3: Show genuine interest in people.

The key to flirting your way to success lies in having an authentic charm about you. The easiest way to turn up your charm is to be genuinely interested in people. What fascinates you most about people, the way they think, or the things that make them tick? Ask them questions; some people love talking about themselves. Another way to turn up the charm is by simply remembering people’s names. When meeting people for the first time, be sure to repeat their name at least three times during the initial conversation to help you remember it.

Hopefully, these tips will set you off in the right direction to use flirting beyond the scope of dating in a way that helps you build quality relationships with people you see everyday in the office, at home or out and about in town. The most important thing to remember about flirting for success is to keep it light, fun and positive while being empathetic to other people’s feelings. If you can do this, then you will flirt the way flirting was supposed to happen - naturally and effortlessly.

Want to acheive more success with dating? Visit where you can outsource your dating life to professional matchmakers who will help you meet more of the kind of people you want to meet--smart, professional singles who have their life together and are ready for a relationship with the right person.