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August 2014

3 Reasons You Shouldn't Count On Your Friends To Set You Up

Think You'll Meet "The One" Through a Friend?  Think Again… 

Most of us would love to find "The One" naturally and organically. Meeting someone through friends seems easy enough, right? Maybe not!

  • Your Friends Mean Well, But Don't Often Come Through. Your friends love you, but let’s face it—they’re busy. They’ve got careers, kids, mortgages, and relationships of their own to attend to and though they’d love to see you happily coupled up, your love life isn’t their first priority. Yes, they keep promising to invite their cousin down for the weekend and sure, they've repeatedly mentioned a coworker who got divorced a few years ago who seems like a great catch. But frankly, no matter how many matchmaking schemes they've drawn up over brunch once you part ways, your friends likely find themselves occupied with the pressing realities of their lives and the promise of fixing you up fades into the recesses of their minds. 
  • The Risks of Letting Your Friends Play Cupid. Relationships are delicate and you may want to think twice before allowing friends to play matchmaker; it could prove disastrous. Suppose you finally do meet this cousin they keep mentioning—you better hope you both fall instantly in love because if not, two undesirable results can ensue.
    • Undesirable Scenario #1: You find yourself interested in Mr./Ms. Cousin but the affection isn’t reciprocated. Oops. Now your friends feel bad—they may even avoid you for a while worrying that it’s their fault you’re feeling hurt and rejected.
    • Undesirable Scenario #2: Mr./Ms. Cousin isn’t your cup of tea. Now you’ve ticked off your friends. How dare you turn up your nose to their favorite cousin! You're obviously way too picky! No wonder you're still single!

In either scenario, an awkward, potentially damaging dynamic exists in what was once a perfectly smooth sailing friendship.

  • Statistics Aren't in Your Favor. Numbers don't lie. Even though we typically have a lot in common with our friends, we probably won't find ourselves attracted to someone they've selected for us. In fact, there's actually only a 17% chance you'll end up liking someone with whom your friends set you up.

We all need a little help from our friends. But when it comes to love, your pals don't always have much to offer. Given the inherent risks and the unlikelihood of meeting "The One" through friends, you may want to consider other approaches that could prove more successful.