Dating Communication: Call, Text, Email or Social Media?

466698613With so many methods of communication these days, it can be tough to know how you should contact someone once you’re interested in them. It can be easier to text, email, tweet, or write on their Facebook wall, but are there times when you really should pick up the phone and call? 

In a survey conducted by It’s Just Lunch of over 26,000 singles on how technology impacts relationships, 65 percent of respondents said they were more likely to text than call after swapping phone numbers with someone to whom they’re attracted. Nearly half of them indicated they interacted with their love interest on social media either daily or weekly. 

Let’s face it: typing is easier than talking for most people, especially when nerves and feelings are involved. Just because it’s the easy thing to do though doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do

Here are four instances to watch out for when it comes to your means of communication:

Plan dates over the phone 

There’s a time and a place for texts, emails and social media, but it’s not when planning dates early in your relationship. 

“Ultimately, relationships are built on communication,” said Julie Lopez, head of matchmaking at It’s Just Lunch. “The best way to develop a healthy line of communication is to start from day one.” 

Want to shoot the other person a quick message to tell them you had a great time on your date? Feel free to pull out your phone and fire off a short text or email. 

Never drink and text 

This one isn’t just a no-no for texting and other forms of messaging, it applies to phone calls as well. Rarely will anything good come from a drunk message. It’s entirely likely you’ll come off as immature if it’s obvious you’re drinking. It’s not outside the realm of possibility you might sound like a jerk. Plus, if you send one drunk message, you’ll probably send ten. Now you’re annoying. 

Not to mention liquid courage tends to make people say things they might not otherwise be ready to say, which leads us to our next inappropriate situation for typing . . . . 

Feelings should be verbalized 

When you need to express a feeling for the first time - whether that’s affection, love, disappointment or anger - it shouldn’t be through a device. It all goes back to developing communication as the bedrock of your relationship. If you can’t express your feelings to their face now, you may continue struggling to express those feelings throughout your relationship. 

Of course, if you’re already saying “I love you” in person, feel free to text, tweet, email or shout it from the rooftops. Just don’t let that first time the other person knows your true feelings be on a telephone screen. 

No fighting and typing 

Don’t be a coward. If you’re upset, speak with the other person (preferably in person). Without tone or body language, it’s easy for both sides to misinterpret the issue. 

Ultimately, the biggest danger in using technology to communicate for any of these reasons is the potential for misinterpretation and misunderstanding. One of the top reasons - if not the top reason - relationships fail is because of a lack of communication. Interacting via text, email and social media is fine for a quick, light-hearted message but should never be your primary means of communicating. 

Are you still looking for your match? Let the matchmakers at It's Just Lunch help you. Get started today by calling us at 1-800-489-7897 or click here to tell us a little about yourself.

How Facebook Can Predict Romance


Yes, you’ve heard every single’s online dating horror story (the no-show, the psycho, the loser). Despite algorithms, without question, dating a mix of anonymous strangers doesn’t always convert to a feasible and authentic romance. Following that logic, chances are the odds of meeting a mate in your own social circle would run even higher. When birds of a feather flock together, naturally compatibility ensues. Isn’t that how it goes? Not necessarily according to a recent study conducted by a Cornell University researcher and Facebook engineer. Based on data from 1.3 million Facebook users who declared themselves “in a relationship,” the study shows that more romantic connections blossom when both partners have a diverse group of friends, even if the connections within their circles aren’t very strong. In other words, the more friends two people have in common, the more likely the chances of a break up.

We as singles can learn a lesson from these findings. Stepping out of your network may require veering out of your comfort zone, but if you’re not encountering quality people and building lasting relationships, going the extra mile—and enduring some initial discomfort--will reap rewards. Try an activity or go to an event you may not typically join, say wander over to a museum even if you’re not a fan of Picassos or say yes to a happy hour with an acquaintance whom you don’t think you have much in common. A little exploration can go far; and looking in the most unlikely places may yield unexpected connections. 

Cyber Chemistry

Graduated cylinder and flasks

Now more than ever it’s easier to reach people over technology. Ridiculously easy. Between texting, Facebooking, Skyping, emailing....(insert 30 more platforms here) you can connect with your second cousin’s best friend’s sister on her trip to Thailand while you’re shopping on Amazon, watching On-demand, and IMing with your mom. Technology is time-saving and convenient. But, can it also be personal when you really need it to be? 


It’s Just Lunch® says Absolutely! We know that dating relationships take work and as busy professionals, your time is limited as it is. But, this doesn’t have to stand in the way of being available to continue to get to know someone, even if they aren’t across the table from you, or even across town. For those times that you’re apart from the person you’re dating, why not utilize the best part of technology to keep the chemistry going in your relationship? 


The next time you’re separated from your someone because you’re being held hostage by that dreaded convention, why not set up a Cyber Date? After all, just because you’re temporarily far away from each other doesn’t mean that you can’t have an exciting date! (fingers crossed that the wifi in your hotel is working of course). 

So here are the steps:

Be serious about it, like you would for a real date. 

Set a time. 

Get primped. 

Maybe grab a glass of wine. 

Turn off the phone and turn ON the computer. 

Your someone will definitely love that you’re willing to make time for them in the middle of your other responsibilities.

Enjoy making those Cyber Sparks fly!


Social Media Face Off


You’ve been there. Meeting someone new for the first time and even before you can sit down at the table...You spot it. The Third Wheel that brings a big fat rain cloud all over your Happy Hour. The cell phone. Doesn’t matter if it’s the latest, prettiest, most polite, speaking better grammar at you than your professors. It’s still got the capability of crashing the potential of a first date.


Why have we become so obsessed with our phones, especially with social media, that we’ve forgotten the importance of real, live, connections? It seems to be an epidemic no matter what age you are. You know what your dorm-mate from undergrad ate for breakfast this morning, but the name of your date across the table is a little foggy.


We at It’s Just Lunch® were fascinated by this phenomenon, and conducted a survey of men and women to find out how folks felt about social media etiquette on a date and it’s presence at the table.


The response was overwhelming in favor of pocketing social media on a date.

89.7% of men said that it was “rude” and they never check and 91.3% of women agreed.

Only 5.5% of men, and 4.9% of women said they would check, if their date was checking too.

A VICTORY for dates for everywhere! Sorry Facebook. You lose. Dates win.